Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Christian Marriage Counselling and Marital affairs

“How could therapists be more effective in dealing with affairs?”

In order to determine what would promote more successful experiences with counseling, respondents to
a Questionnaire were invited to  contribute (on an open-ended basis) whatever Comments (“Advice”)
they would like to pass along to therapists to help them be more effective in dealing with affairs.

Here is how marital therapists can be more effective in dealing with marital affairs according to couples who had been there.

 1. Deal directly with the affair, not just ordinary marriage counseling.
 2. Deal with the emotional impact of the affair.
 3. Don’t “blame” the affair on the hurt spouse.
 4. Be supportive of those couples who want to try to save the marriage.
 5. Don’t keep secrets or too quickly believe lies of the one who had an affair.
 6. See both parties together.
 7. Be aware of the impact of your gender/beliefs/experience on therapy.
 8. Don't expect the hurt party to forget the affair or "set it aside and go on."
 9. Help clients connect with others who have “been there.”
 10. Be well-informed about affairs and provide good information.
 11. Encourage honest communication and answering all questions.

The researchers go on to show that marriages stay together where the marriage partners have been able to discuss fully the details of the affair.

Christian marriage counsellors should respect the grieved partner's need of time, experience and careful discussion to regain trust.

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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Psychic reading becomes a curse on my life

Hi George,

My name is (omit name). Nine years ago I attended a psychic fair at a metaphysical church. There I approached a man and asked him "how do I meet my husband?".

He took hold of my hands, peered into my eyes and told me I wouldn't believe it until I see it. He said it would happen in 10 years that a man would be walking down the street and the moment our eyes meet we would be under one another's spell. The problem we wouldn't be able to talk to one another and on top of it he would work for the same company as me. He went on with this elaborate story that would lead this man to be my husband following a work holiday party. As I walked away from the man once the reading was complete he called me back and told me that me and the Guy wouldn't end up together at all because I die in a car crash. He said my sister has a baby at the end of February and wants to name it after me but can't because its a boy. Then it was cancer I died from, then a brain embolism, then he told me he could make me kill myself, then my heart would speed up. He said the bottom line I make sure you don't exist past January. I didn't know what to think when he said this to me. My aunt who attended the church overhead the psychic and they had an argument. 

Fast forward 9 years and March of last year I dreamed of the psychic. Sure enough following the dream a few days later the man walking down the street was under my spell and the manager of the computer department of my company. The spell was so strong he would stand outside a meeting room and watch me through the window. I couldn't get him out of my head. But every time I saw him I would get a sick knot in my stomach and would be unable to.speak to him a mixture of shyness and uneasiness. Just as the psychic saw I met him. Then everything went sour around July. I began to feel threatened and afraid. I started to remember other parts of the reading which lead me to begin seeing tons of doctors to rule out any illness. At the end of July my heart sped up and landed me in the ER with a heart rate of 170 turns out I was overdosing on dayquil. I took two capsules but at his word the psychic made sure otherwise. Following my stay in the hospital I began to worry every time I got in a car and gave up driving myself. The anxiety continued. December came and there was no Christmas party and it clicked with me. The psychic was hoping for me to do something vulgar. I'm a Christian I believe it Jesus and God. I know I am here for a plan by God. I've been praying to be freed and protected from this attack. I need help. He said my family deserved a tragedy and that's why it had to be me. He said he had permission to kill me and I fight for my life to the end. Did I mention my Sister is having a baby next month and its a boy. I've been praying so hard. Please help if you can there's 9 more days left in this month and I really want to meet my baby nephew.

George's response:

Hi (omit name)  This is very serious.  Thank you for sharing it.  We can all learn a lesson here.  The devil uses the occult to find victims that he can curse.

The object is to tell someone something that they will believe long enough for their faith to work against them.  Faith working against us is a good definition of fear and worry.  

This 'psychic' got permission from you to tell you the devil's lies because you went to a psychic fair in a metaphysical church.  You were in the devil's territory and in disobedience to God.  Point #1 - you need to confess as sin being there and realize that this is a 'slap in the face' to God like a wife having a sexual encounter with a man not her husband. 

Undoing the 'reading' is going to take significant effort.  You need to repent of receiving and believing it since it is the devil's lies into your life.
Again confession of sin and receiving forgiveness is necessary.

Then there needs to be breaking of the reading = curse.  a further topic.

George Hartwell M.Sc. Christian counsellor provides Christian counselling ( counseling / therapy ) through 90 minute in person sessions at his office in Mississauga.  As a professional Christian Marriage counsellor George provides Christian marriage counselling counseling for couples in Oakville, Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Second marriage, Blended family?

Letter to George:

My husband and I were married two years ago both with grown children.  I never realized how difficult a relationship would be with grown children.  For some reason I thought they were all adults and it would be easier.  It appears much harder than I realized and I am seeking some kind of guidance.  Just wondering if you could direct me to a book or group.
Not sure if I am being selfish and not understanding how to deal with all the adult children which range in age from 27 to 39.  What my role is what i should or should not do or what I should or should not expect.  Being a mother of three I raised my children much differently and it is hard especially now that they are having grandchildren.  Just confused at times as to where my place is and what role I should be. Am I a grandmother of children born into my husbands children during our time together? just confused.
Any direction or book you could recommend would even be helpful
thank you

George' Response:

Blended families become very complex at a time then children are acting very differently from previous generations anyway.

My attitude is to act as a servant leader which means to help out first and pull my weight in the hope (patient hope) (enduring patient hope) that I may be recognized or have a voice at some point.

In this role my prime intervention is supportive of my spouse, prevent or block abusive interactions, focus on practical ways to contribute.  We have no 'rights.'

Consider yourself a 'step-grandmother' especially if someone gives you the title.  Do not grab any title, just wait.  Expect to have a lot of influence but by staying out of things and 'going about your business.'  Depend on the spirit to communicate who you.  Be steady, loving, orderly, patient, etc.  But mainly support your spouse.



Response: Wow George, very powerful. I believe practice of these items you outlined will be the most important thing i can do this year.

Natural Protection for the Christian

Natural Protection for the Christian

That God is a refuge, shield, rock to those who trust in Him sacred scripture leaves no doubt.  The valid expectation of the godly is that those that believe in, trust in and cling to God will discover and experience His protection.  It is so.  See: Refuge: Psalm 48, 1,7,11, 57:1, 62:7, Isaiah 25:4.  Rock: Psalm 62:5.  Shield: Psalm 144:2, 18:3, Proverbs 30:5, 2 Samuel 22:31.

In the promise of protection here is truth to affirm and principles to learn. 

As we begin to listen for the guidance and the voice of God, and seek the inward vision that allows one to behold what God is doing, then we will have the wisdom of Jesus, in the face of temptation of the devil, not to ‘test’ the promise of protection in Psalm 91.  Luke 4:9-12.

Beware of pride in the reasoning of the mind that can pick and choose promises in scripture; make them apply here and now, when your carnal thinking may be in rebellion against the guidance of God.  It is with the spirit that we hear God not our mind.  It is with the Spirit of God that we understand what God has freely given us.  1 Corinthians 2:12.

Humility protects us from the calamities that full upon the proud.  Beware of that rebellious pride that would usurp the role of Jesus in authority over angels (Matthew 26:53.  Do not command, or bind angels that operate in the heavenlies.  Leave that to Jesus.

I am not saying that there is no place for old fashioned deliverance ministry where demons are commanded to leave.  That is an authorized earthly ministry called ‘casting out demons.’  However, there is much bad fruit from those so-called spiritual warfare prayers that bind territorial spirits.  See John Paul Jackson “Needless Casualties of War.”

Ungodly spiritual warfare is one way in which the natural protection or defensive perimeter around Christians gets deeply penetrated by evil forces in ways that manifest in people’s lives as accidents, ill health, financial setbacks and relationship breakdowns.  No long ‘hidden in Christ’ we seem to be exposed to enemy attack.

Another way to lose natural protection is by other forms of rebellion against God by involvement with occult practices such as psychics, mediums, witchcraft, ouiji board, masonry, etc.  These activities are viewed as a ‘slap in the face’ to God and in betrayal turning one’s loyalty over to the enemy of God.

A third form of penetration of protection experienced increasingly by Christians deserves a separate explanation, but we are experiencing increased attack, often systematic attack and sometimes including shunning and harassment from curses, spells and various attacks by organized forces trying to ‘take down’ Christians.

There really is more to say about ways to build and establish protection and about breaking curses.  Some of that information may be found on  A more interactive format is my blog

There is a lot more to this topic and ways that we decrease or increase out ‘state of protection’ as Christians.  

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Protection against Curses and witchcraft

Maltese prayer of protection altered and enhanced by George Hartwell, January 2013

In the name of Jesus
Through the power of his blood
Through the force of the holy Spirit
and the intercession of the Lord Jesus Christ my High Priest and Intercessor,
I renounce any tie with the occult and spiritism
and cut off any curse against me.
I accept you Jesus Christ
as my only saviour in life, my Healer, my Deliverer and my Victory.
Jesus I know there is a curse against me
under commands and direction from (name).
I know you are Lord of all, the Lord of hosts, and command legions of angels,
You have all authority in heaven and on earth.
I know your plans for me are for life, love, health, peace and prosperity,
I know the heavenly Father is good and holy, you, his Son are good and holy and, therefore,
I ask you to intervene to grant your servant peace from this harassment and  
to give the evil forces under command higher commands from you.
Deliverance is from you.  You are my mighty deliverer and I thank you for freedom from this evil.
To you be the power and the glory,

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