Christian Marriage Counselling and Marital affairs

“How could therapists be more effective in dealing with affairs?”

In order to determine what would promote more successful experiences with counseling, respondents to
a Questionnaire were invited to  contribute (on an open-ended basis) whatever Comments (“Advice”)
they would like to pass along to therapists to help them be more effective in dealing with affairs.

Here is how marital therapists can be more effective in dealing with marital affairs according to couples who had been there.

 1. Deal directly with the affair, not just ordinary marriage counseling.
 2. Deal with the emotional impact of the affair.
 3. Don’t “blame” the affair on the hurt spouse.
 4. Be supportive of those couples who want to try to save the marriage.
 5. Don’t keep secrets or too quickly believe lies of the one who had an affair.
 6. See both parties together.
 7. Be aware of the impact of your gender/beliefs/experience on therapy.
 8. Don't expect the hurt party to forget the affair or "set it aside and go on."
 9. Help clients connect with others who have “been there.”
 10. Be well-informed about affairs and provide good information.
 11. Encourage honest communication and answering all questions.

The researchers go on to show that marriages stay together where the marriage partners have been able to discuss fully the details of the affair.

Christian marriage counsellors should respect the grieved partner's need of time, experience and careful discussion to regain trust.

Marriage counsellor MIssissauga

Marriage counsellor Mississauga or Marriage counsellor Oakville or Marriage counsellor Toronto are search terms that find my web site HealMyLife.com - A christian counselling web site.

Christians and those without a strong faith stance or another faith stance might turn to a Christian marriage counsellor because it is known that we esteem marriage and do not quickly and easily encourage separation and divorce.  That is true.  Secular counselors often are much too very quick to suggest pulling the plug on a marriage.

The tools and skills involved in marriage counselling are needed whether one is Christian or of another faith stance or secular.  It is not often that I get to use the skills of life transforming prayer therapy in the midst of  marital therapy at my office in Mississauga..  Those types of interventions are vest provided within the context of individual therapy and used for individual root issues.

My focus as a  marriage counsellor is to use focus on emotional bonding, the marital connection of the couple.  This requires both marriage counsellor and both members of the couple to practice emotional listening skills.  This is demonstrated with verbal and nonverbal acknowledgement of the feelings of one's partner.

We can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to helps us in this but real humility is needed to set aside one's own position and to listen to and acknowledge the other.  It is hard work to change habits of asserting or defending one's own position.  God can help us but we are the one's that need to humble ourselves and listen to our partner with love.