How to feel adequate

If you are not confident in yourself you will feel it. Others will feel it as well.

Some people will not feel adequate or competent because the lose the identity by focusing on pleasing others. This is classical People Pleaser or Performance Orientation.

Another type - the ones I call Super Responsible - (Parental Inversion by Sandfords) may also feel indequate. The reason, almost invariably, is the internal Judge that goes along with Super-responsible.

The Super responsible person may think everything that goes wrong is "My Fault." Associated with that quick 'my fault' is beliefs that 'something is wrong with me,' 'I'm bad,' 'I deserve to be punished' and 'I don't deserve good things.'

When something goes wrong with his performance, his achievement, his competative edge, or he is criticized, the People Pleaser goes into an immediate funk, depression, (or anger) state with beliefs like "I am no good," "I am unloveable," "nobody can love me" and "I am bad." This pattern is described more in The Program and the Pit.

One answer to feeling inadequate is The are adequacy is not of ourselves, says Paul(2 Corinthians 3:4), but our adequacy is of Christ. This helps one to stop focusing on self. That helps.

To some extent we decide how we see ourselves. We make choices to be and feel adequate. People then respond to our confidence. It starts with us.

Chrisitian Inner Healing

Inner Healing is a set of principles and procedures that can be used by qualified Christian professionals to bring inner and emotional healing to individuals through a healing encounter with God. Problems in marriage can also be resolved in depth by Chrisitan Inner Healing that transforms unhealthy personality patterns - patterns that block closeness in marriage and lead to hurt and withdrawal.
Chrisitian Inner Healing Prayer Therapy has been effectively applied to many significant life issues because it uses a healing encounter with God to bring positive change to unhealthy personality patterns. With the tools of Life Transformation Therapy a professional can provide significant support to the treatment of:
trauma abuse,
addictive behaviors,
eating disorders,
alcohol addiction,
sexual addictions,
drug addictions.
problems in marriage.
I consider the first generation of inner healing to be the innovators such as Agnes Sanford. Early on and just after committing my life to Christ I was given a key book by Agnes Sanford that outlined principles of effective prayer for healing.
After her death those that learned from the pioneers in Inner Healing continued to develope this new field. Teachers and writers such as Leanne Payne, John Sandford and Paula Sandford are the ones I am most familiar with.
I consider myself part of a third generation of writers and teachers who are taking the field of Christian inner healing into the next phase of development.