Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Total honesty is not always a good policy

People sometimes ask if complete honesty is a good idea.  Here is one example:


"If I had a serious problem, should I be completely honest with my wife, even if it might mean divorce?"


My answer went like this:  "No, complete honestly is immature.  No mature adult lives like that.  We make decisions what to share with whom, when and why.  We choose our battles.

You need wisdom from God or godly counselors as whether to share this issue.

Counselors call it containment.  You contain your emotional reactivity as a gift to others.  You choose to be positive as a gift to others.  You stay steady when others are losing their heads as a gift to others."

In my life I do not tell people every time I am angry, frustrated or disappointed with them.  It is called 'choosing your battles.'  I do not choose to control every aspect of life or others that displeases me.  I choose to live with it.

I can be very emotional both tearful, joyful, and angry.  But as a servant leader I chose to exercise self-control over what I share when.  Otherwise I would bring emotional disorder and instability to my household and that is not my choice.  Love involves self-control; emotional containment.  

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