"Don't trust your feelings!"

Christians are often told: "Don't trust your feelings."
That is not always helpful because our spirit and the Holy Spirit speak to us through our feelings. So don't tune out to your feelings. Listen.
Christians are aften told that anger is wrong. I wish we taught that anger has a place but hatred hurts both us and the other person. It acts like a curse.
Could I suggest that we reserve our misgivings for hate, bitterness, hostility, resentment and any feeling leading to revenge against another. Keep 'anger' free of negative judgement unless it is used sinfully.
It is said: "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath." Please interpret this to mean that anger needs to be expressed. Look at anger as energy from God to get us talking, confronting, standing up to injustice, unfairness, hurt and oppression.
Be guided by: "Be angry but sin not." Ephesians 4:26. Take this to mean that you can confront the issue without putting down the person. Sin enters in when we call names, put down or intentionally hurt another. Speak the truth in love.
For more on this see: Anger, Hate, Forgiveness and love.

Anger management courses

Anger management courses are the new religion. There is a ritual required to appease the higher powers - police and courts.

Anger management courses provide intellectual exercises to deal with an emotional problem. Unfortunately, the emotional control centers of the brain override the cognitive centers in times of stress.

Anger management courses also require confession. On a regular basis, one must admit to one’s charges without protest. This confession of guilt helps provide absolution by the ‘higher powers.’

Anger management courses do not deal with some of the foundational issues underlying rage, violence and loss of control.

For men especially there is a need for a sense of personal empowerment. One needs to feel powerful rather than weak and vulnerable. Any request or confrontation by the woman may trigger painful feelings of being weak, vulnerable and without power.

This may manifest in a marriage in grabbing for the power – to be “King of the Castle.” This is one of the blocks to marriage bonding that I describe on www.HealMyLife.com.

True authority, an anger management course instructor might say, flows from a peaceful, calm sense of confidence. “Men, be the steady captain of the ship in a storm.”

Self-talk that is positive could help. Even if your partner is out of control emotionally, you can remain steady.

Self control is a sign of inner confidence. An Anger management course might give a person the self-talk script to remain confident in an emotional storm.