Silent Divorce - a Biblical reflection

Silent divorce is about a marriage where the partners still live together but have separate lives. It is married people living like singles.

Silent divorce may mean that the marriage partners almost never talk.
Silent divorce might mean that the sexual relationship has ended, but that is only part of it.

To understand marriage and to understand silent divorce, I want us to consider what is the fundamental spiritual truth that is key to God's heart for marriage.

What is the spirit and truth about marriage and silent divorce? Marriage counsellors now see that bonding, attachment, secure loving connection is key to understanding couple relationships. See Susan Johnson and Emotionally Focussed Therapy.

The Bible also values our bonding (clinging to) God and the bonding (one flesh) between man and woman.

How important is bonding to our relationship with God? I believe the Bible reveals that it is vital, in fact essential, to our souls, to eternal life. After all eternal life is defined in terms of an intimate relationship - as knowing God the Father and His Son, Jesus the Messiah (John 17:2 ).

The parallel truth is that bonding vital and essential to the truth and spirit of marriage.

Jesus makes clear, in John 15:2 that branches that bear no fruit are cut off by the Father. Such branches fail to remain united with God - the True Vine. "No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine." Jesus says "Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me."

The parallel truth is that the fruit God wants from marriage flows from bonding between husband and wife. God's Spirit and kingdom can flow from the vital oneness of man and woman.

John 15 says that branches that do not remain in the vine die and are cut off. What about a marriage where the vital connection is dead and the energy is all negative - a silent divorce.

In the case of silent divorce would a wise and loving God not want an end to a marriage that is dead - where bonding is broken?

If the life and health of the marriage partners is God's primary concern - not the 'holiness of marriage' - then (if the marriage is dead and children are not involved) I think God would want and end to pretense, to silent divorce so that life and love can flow.

More about silent divorce and bonding on www.HealMyLife.com: see Silent divorce and Bonding, marriage and silent divorce.