Sunday, February 17, 2019

Avoidant Peronality Disorder - How do I know if I have an Avoidant Personality?

How does one know if you have avoidant personality disorder?
It is hard to know that you have an avoidant personality disorder. Each of us is used to life as we know it. Why would we think there is anything wrong?
However if one is given to self-observation you will notice that a lot of your life is based on fear of closeness. You do a lot of things to keep social distance and avoid intimate contact with others.
You may notice that you hate and avoid conflict. You may want to have your say but then do what you can to disappear so the other cannot respond. You disappear a lot. You also lie to avoid conflict or accountability.
You give solution answers to a person in trouble but do not empathize or respond to or acknowledge their feelings. You try to fix things rather but are not good at comforting the person.
When it comes to activities that go beyond your comfort zone you will tend to stay within your comfort zone rather than break out. You avoid risks in a lot of different areas.
Especially you avoid the risk of love. You avoid activities that could lead to personal communication, affection, bonding. That is the essential avoidance of the Avoidant Personality.
What others may notice in the avoidant is their refusal to give straight answers, to acknowledge people’s feelings, to make clear straight requests. If they pay attention they may notice that the avoidant lacks depth in conversation, they are always well dressed, their home perfect and planned hospitality extravagant. The avoidant avoids high-risk situations in learning or play.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Learn how Forgiveness treats Paranoia

In the process of forgiving, what do we let go of? And what do we receive because of it?

More than you might imagine.

 If we look at forgiveness as giving up the right to attack or to get revenge upon the one who hurt or is hurting us, then it is a step into apparent vulnerability.

 Part of us - let us call it the Head - wants control and the feeling of being in control - a sense of being powerful.

 In forgiveness Head stops trying to feel powerful and chooses to be loving This means letting go of power and no longer seeing the other as an enemy.

 Notice how that is a step away from paranoia.

 In the world of spiritual principles, I find that as I let go of revenge (puts down the weapons of retaliation), then my spirit experiences true safety. God is now able to defend me.

Paradoxically, our spirit discovers true protection and less vulnerability, in the state of forgiveness than in the state of hate. 

Here is one example of how as one dies to one's self - the Head Self - one experiences true life. As one experiences the safety, peace, and love and letting go of hate and revenge, one is learning to trust the deeper truths of the spirit.

 One is, in effect, trusting and accessing the power of love and God as one's shield. One is really drawing nearer to the love source of creation and finding safety in one's connection to your source.

 In that state, there is less fear because perfect love casts out fear. Why would I be afraid of you if I know I am safe in the arms of theeverlasting God?

 In my life, learning this was a big step toward opening my heart to love, life, and God. It helped me move away from my earthly father's drive to trust the head and associated paranoia toward my heavenly father's kingdom principles.



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More About Psychotherapy at the Life Transformation Group website:


 Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking


Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario


George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, 


Toronto by Skype or phone or in person

George Hartwell

ttps://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/george-hartwell.html


https://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/blog/in-depth-psychotherapy



Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Forgiviness is and is not

1. Forgiveness is the decision to let go of resentment toward another. However, forgiveness is not the end of the discussion.

2. Forgiveness implies letting go of hate. But forgiveness does not mean one is not angry.

3. Forgiveness means that I stop attacking the other person. But we may still need to discuss the way you hurt or offended me.

4. Forgiveness changes my intention of hurting the other. It may not clear up my feelings.

5. In fact an open and frank discussion of what was done and what was felt msy help release the feelings around the issue.

6. Forgiveness is not needed because you were angry. Forgiveness, however, may be needed because of what you did or said when you were angry.

7. Forgiveness of someone who hurt you deeply in the past does not heal the emotional wound. Healing the emotional wound done at the time requires inner healing through listening prayer therapy of the core beliefs rooted into the foundation of the memory.

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More About Psychotherapy at the Life Transformation Group website:


 Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking


Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario


George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, 


Toronto by Skype or phone or in person

George Hartwell

ttps://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/george-hartwell.html


https://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/blog/in-depth-psychotherapy


Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Sustainable emotional healing. heal my life?

Emotional healing that we are looking for is sustainable positive personality and emotional change. That involves deeper emotional healing.

Many forms of emotional intervention are not sustained long-term.

For example, self-change is like that. I can keep up self-change for a few months at best then things revert to the old normal.

Educational courses such as anger management to tend to help while they are going on and once they are over we revert to the old normal.

 Deeper emotional healing will be heart deep and not just head knowledge. Most counselling and therapy is focused in short-term goals and limited changes and this will not be heart change.

It may not be easy to find the one or two psychotherapists that really care about long-term change.

--------------------------

More About Psychotherapy at the Life Transformation Group website:


 Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking


Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario


George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, 


Toronto by Skype or phone or in person

George Hartwell

ttps://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/george-hartwell.html


https://www.lifetransformationgroup.com/blog/in-depth-psychotherapy


Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga


Sunday, August 05, 2018

Christian Therapy for Codependence

Many people go through life struggling with a Codependent Personality from their childhood. That’s why I’ve spent the last 45 years perfecting methods that help people to receive inner healing so they can break out of dysfunctional patterns and enjoy life again.
- George Hartwell, M.Sc. Registered Psychotherapist. (416) 939-0544

See my web site re Christian psychotherapy for codependency issues,: https://www.healmylifemobile.com/codependent.html

Regarding Christian Marriage counselling and Christian therapy for codependency.
Website for psychotherapy in Mississauga and codependency,
              for Oakville psychotherapy and codependency and codependent issues.    for Toronto psychotherapy and codepndency issues

Self-Help for the Codependent.
I can make a variety of self-help suggestions for the Codependent. There is a problem with that approach.  In my experience, backed up by psychological research, self-help efforts may have success for a few weeks or a few months. But, in the long-term, they often come to nothing. Old patterns come back. We revert to our codependent personality


Why old patterns come back:

1. Every attitude, behaviour or personality pattern that was developed in childhood is firmly planted in our memories,

2. Core beliefs are embedded in our unconscious memories.

3. Emotional learning, attitudes and motivations find their foundation in early memories.

4. The memories with our core beliefs, attitudes, and emotional learning are not readily accessed. Important as they are they have been forgotten.

Why our Memories are not easily Changed

1. Self-help will not be able to change learning that is primarily unconscious.
2.  Our memories are only open to change when they are conscious. 
3. Even conscious memories only change when specific conditions are met. 
4. Few are those who understand these conditions. 

So can codependency by Healed with Christian Therapy?

Yes, Healing involves making these memories, core beliefs and assumptions conscious. Only a psychotherapist who is up to date on memory reconsolidation will set up the specific conditions that lead to permanent change in this emotional learning which can trigger a personality change. 

1. A Christian therapist will have the help of the Holy Spirit and listening prayer to pinpoint the memory.

2. After identifying feelings and core belief in the memory one can talk to Jesus and ask for the truth.


Codependency is the tendency to help, support and rescue people in a way that becomes dysfunctional. You can end up in a pattern of love relationships with broken people. There is much positive about you as the person who is codependent ( Rescuer) to others, however, it takes a toll on you. It can be a precursor to depression, Bipolar patterns, strokes and anxiety. 

Codependency is a personality pattern that developed in childhood and stays behind in adulthood. It stays because it is firmly planted upon the memories, core beliefs and assumptions formed in the events of childhood. Usually, that means that mother or father was not fully consistently functioning as the adults in the family. There can be many reasons for that.

Wednesday, May 09, 2018

Praying for Depression based on Psalm 103

Christian Therapy for Depression

Life Transformation through Individual Therapy

In your individual therapy sessions with George you will find:

  • Therapy for Depression and Anxiety based on dealing with core beliefs
  • Dealing with foundational personality patterns established in childhood
  • Using effective therapy tools for Life Transformation, including:
  • Memory reconsolidation,
  • The emotionally focused journey to our authentic identity,
  • Emotional and spiritual psychodrama ( a Christian approach)
  • Stress and anxiety Management
  • Addiction & Recovery tools.
  • Christian therapy for depression

George Hartwell M.Sc. is founder of the Life Transformation group of therapists who are dedicated to depth-orientated brief therapy. You can benefit from a team of experienced professionals. (George has over 40 years experience.) We have aligned ourselves with the newest psychotherapy developments as represented by Coherence Therapy and Memory Reconsolidation.

Our mission is to provide you with significant permanent life change in a brief therapy time frame. That means without years of therapy visits. Psychotherapy for depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto.


In order to respond best to your needs, George has access to a variety of methods that will provide you with transformative experiences. For example, I use EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy (Les Greenburg and Sue Johnson), 'The Journey - Brandon Bays, and (Christian) Listening Prayer Therapy integrating the principles from Dr. Ed Smith's work, the insights of John and Paula Sandford and the prayerful use of imagination of Agnes Sanford and Leanne Payne.

If you like we can work together to understand and resolve the root issues that linger just below the surface of your life. You can see resolution of emotions, perceptions and compulsive life patterns based in the emotional learning of your past.


This means working with you to achieve your goals and to deal with the ways you undermine what could be a life of love, peace and joy. We are talking about engaging in an effective process of emotional healing and life transformation. This means dealing with the underlying obstacles and personality patterns that block you from the achievment of your goals and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety and increase security and confidence in your life.

For Christian Marriage Therapy with George Hartwell in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto

Christian Counselling, Therapy, Psychotherapy in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario

12 Links to relevant Pages by George Hartwell M.Sc:

Links to Psychotherapy - the Life Transformation Group website:

Welcome to my mobile websites.
  1. Report of marriage therapy with a narcissist.
  2. For psychotherapy / therapy for anxiety Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville.
  3. Understanding Psychotherapy for Bipolar Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario.
  4. Healing Codependent Issues with therapy and self-help.
  5. Christian therapy, psychotherapy for Depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
  6. Therapy/therapist for Nervous Breakdown, Mental Oakville, Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario.
  7. Deliverance from evil strongholds in Christian Therapy/ counselling Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario
  8. What causes Psychopathy, therapy, psychotherapy Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
  9. Codependency and Christian marriage counselling
  10. Christian therapy, counselling Dealing with Curses, Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville, Ontario.
  11. 10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
  12. Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce, Christians and Divorce