Sunday, August 05, 2018

Christian Therapy for Codependence

Many people go through life struggling with a Codependent Personality from their childhood. That’s why I’ve spent the last 45 years perfecting methods that help people to receive inner healing so they can break out of dysfunctional patterns and enjoy life again.
- George Hartwell, M.Sc. Registered Psychotherapist. (416) 939-0544

See my web site re Christian psychotherapy for codependency issues,:

Regarding Christian Marriage counselling and Christian therapy for codependency.
Website for psychotherapy in Mississauga and codependency,
              for Oakville psychotherapy and codependency and codependent issues.    for Toronto psychotherapy and codepndency issues

Self-Help for the Codependent.
I can make a variety of self-help suggestions for the Codependent. There is a problem with that approach.  In my experience, backed up by psychological research, self-help efforts may have success for a few weeks or a few months. But, in the long-term, they often come to nothing. Old patterns come back. We revert to our codependent personality

Why old patterns come back:

1. Every attitude, behaviour or personality pattern that was developed in childhood is firmly planted in our memories,

2. Core beliefs are embedded in our unconscious memories.

3. Emotional learning, attitudes and motivations find their foundation in early memories.

4. The memories with our core beliefs, attitudes, and emotional learning are not readily accessed. Important as they are they have been forgotten.

Why our Memories are not easily Changed

1. Self-help will not be able to change learning that is primarily unconscious.
2.  Our memories are only open to change when they are conscious. 
3. Even conscious memories only change when specific conditions are met. 
4. Few are those who understand these conditions. 

So can codependency by Healed with Christian Therapy?

Yes, Healing involves making these memories, core beliefs and assumptions conscious. Only a psychotherapist who is up to date on memory reconsolidation will set up the specific conditions that lead to permanent change in this emotional learning which can trigger a personality change. 

1. A Christian therapist will have the help of the Holy Spirit and listening prayer to pinpoint the memory.

2. After identifying feelings and core belief in the memory one can talk to Jesus and ask for the truth.

Codependency is the tendency to help, support and rescue people in a way that becomes dysfunctional. You can end up in a pattern of love relationships with broken people. There is much positive about you as the person who is codependent ( Rescuer) to others, however, it takes a toll on you. It can be a precursor to depression, Bipolar patterns, strokes and anxiety. 

Codependency is a personality pattern that developed in childhood and stays behind in adulthood. It stays because it is firmly planted upon the memories, core beliefs and assumptions formed in the events of childhood. Usually, that means that mother or father was not fully consistently functioning as the adults in the family. There can be many reasons for that.

Wednesday, May 09, 2018

Praying for Depression based on Psalm 103

Christian Therapy for Depression

Life Transformation through Individual Therapy

In your individual therapy sessions with George you will find:

  • Therapy for Depression and Anxiety based on dealing with core beliefs
  • Dealing with foundational personality patterns established in childhood
  • Using effective therapy tools for Life Transformation, including:
  • Memory reconsolidation,
  • The emotionally focused journey to our authentic identity,
  • Emotional and spiritual psychodrama ( a Christian approach)
  • Stress and anxiety Management
  • Addiction & Recovery tools.
  • Christian therapy for depression

George Hartwell M.Sc. is founder of the Life Transformation group of therapists who are dedicated to depth-orientated brief therapy. You can benefit from a team of experienced professionals. (George has over 40 years experience.) We have aligned ourselves with the newest psychotherapy developments as represented by Coherence Therapy and Memory Reconsolidation.

Our mission is to provide you with significant permanent life change in a brief therapy time frame. That means without years of therapy visits. Psychotherapy for depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto.

In order to respond best to your needs, George has access to a variety of methods that will provide you with transformative experiences. For example, I use EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy (Les Greenburg and Sue Johnson), 'The Journey - Brandon Bays, and (Christian) Listening Prayer Therapy integrating the principles from Dr. Ed Smith's work, the insights of John and Paula Sandford and the prayerful use of imagination of Agnes Sanford and Leanne Payne.

If you like we can work together to understand and resolve the root issues that linger just below the surface of your life. You can see resolution of emotions, perceptions and compulsive life patterns based in the emotional learning of your past.

This means working with you to achieve your goals and to deal with the ways you undermine what could be a life of love, peace and joy. We are talking about engaging in an effective process of emotional healing and life transformation. This means dealing with the underlying obstacles and personality patterns that block you from the achievment of your goals and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety and increase security and confidence in your life.

For Christian Marriage Therapy with George Hartwell in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto

Christian Counselling, Therapy, Psychotherapy in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario

12 Links to relevant Pages by George Hartwell M.Sc:

Welcome to my mobile websites.
  1. Report of marriage therapy with a narcissist.
  2. For psychotherapy / therapy for anxiety Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville.
  3. Understanding Psychotherapy for Bipolar Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario.
  4. Healing Codependent Issues with therapy and self-help.
  5. Christian therapy, psychotherapy for Depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
  6. Therapy/therapist for Nervous Breakdown, Mental Oakville, Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario.
  7. Deliverance from evil strongholds in Christian Therapy/ counselling Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario
  8. What causes Psychopathy, therapy, psychotherapy Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
  9. Codependency and Christian marriage counselling
  10. Christian therapy, counselling Dealing with Curses, Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville, Ontario.
  11. 10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
  12. Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce, Christians and Divorce

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Why pick on the Baptists

There is a problem with evangelicals and it is hard to know what it is the reason. We can smell something rotten but have trouble picking it out 

I listened to a pray that a woman found to break a curse against her. It was long and thorough. Could that be a problem?

It involved a complete list of sins to confess, renounce and ask forgiveness for. Could that be part of it?

This is the world of the dedicated evangelical. One gets used to the pattern and focus of these zealous Christians.

It is no surprise when the prayer turns to driving out demons. Many are named and commanded to leave in Jesus name.

Listen to the language. Make a count of the themes. Sin gets lot of attention so it can be forgiven. Demons get a lot of air time so they can be commanded to leave.

It is like walking through a heavy rain without protection. One's senses are hit with a downpour of sins being named and then demons getting attention.

The dangerous question to ask is, "is it effective." I find some Evangelicals do not ask that question and they don't want you to raise it. 

This prayers and ones like it are recited without questions about effectiveness. Don't ask.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Is memory unlimited?

Human memory is limited. First of all everything we learned must be screened by what we already know - our perceptual system. We learn best in areas where we have already learned something.

Our short term memory is limited to about 7 bits of information at a time. If these bits are to be remembered (put into long term storage) we need to focus on them for about a minute. As a result we are limited in terms of how much we can get into our long-term storage.

Secondly we store different kinds of information in different learning centers. Factual information in one place. Emotional in another and spiritual in a third.

Facts go into our cognitive or intellectual brain but personally meaningful events - those associated with passion, feeling, rewards and punishments - these are stored in our emotional brain.

The emotional brain makes decisions, establishes our motivation and lights our passions on fire. The memory here is more of little videos of life, little drama bits with important lessons (core beliefs) that are associated with feeling. The emotional brain is going to collect memories that fit in with the core beliefs and feelings that we have already collected. We are biased in the experiences we collect and how we interpret them.

If our culture allows us, we will also experience and record information received through our psychic, spiritual or intuitive sensing. Call this the intuitive brain, source of our 'gut reactions' or our human spirit. The memory here is not of facts but of the love we have or have not received, the joy we have or have not felt, the beauty of the sunset, the great athlete, great music and the presence of Source or God. Let us call these our transcendent experiences. By the way if our human family invests love in us, then this center will grow and grow until we can experience empathy with another.

By the way factual memories are stored longer if the test - that is are made to remember them. Our emotional memories can change when they are remembered. They become open to editing,
suggestion, reinterpretation when remembered. There is a period of hours after recall of an emotional memory when it is vulnerable to such influences. It is helpful for therapists to understand how that process works.

The content of our spirit or intuitive brain can be influenced by what we meditate upon. Feed in spiritually nurturing experiences and we become more filled with light and goodness. 'Memory' here is like colouring in water. It is the state of our soul. We can shape who we are at this level.
In conclusion not only is memory limited but we are in constant flux. We are an ongoing process of learning and forgetting, wounding and healing, becoming more filled with light or running out of joy. The 'who we are' is a lot more important than what we remember.

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

What is a bipolar personality and what leads to it?

First of all you need to keep in mind that the 'bi-polar' person has two different personality states: manic and depressed.
Second they may stay in these for weeks or months at a time. So if you are talking to someone you should not be able to tell if they are bi-polar unless they are in the manic stage. The manic stage is much more obvious than the depressive state.
In fact the person's 'normal' state and most frequent state is going to be depression. If they don't tell you about their 'manic' periods you should have no idea that they are bipolar in their normal depressive state.
Also remember that a lot of people can have a normal personality, yet have bi-polar characteristics, without it being a disorder. Their 'manic' state does not have the psychiatric aspects that make this a disorder.
A manic state can occur in much milder forms. The person breaks out of their normal routine and seem more energetic, be more creative, get more done, have more fun without clinical extremes.
However, this becomes problematic if the  person goes on a spending spree, goes gambling, goes wild sexually, impulsive and does not get routine tasks done. This is disruptive without the signs of mental illness and impaired thinking. 
The clinical disorder includes grandiose thinking, disconnecting from reality, paranoid delusions associated with mental disorders. Remember that you can have milder forms of bipolar that do not require drugs or psychiatry.
I have found an underlying personality pattern that is typically found underneath the bipolar pattern. This is a personality pattern of the super-responsible person who is always there for others, rescuing others, doing too much for others. These person can be the pillar of the family, church or social organization.
They are always there for others. What is wrong with this? They fail at self-care. They sacrifice themselves in taking care of others. They suppress their needs and oppress their inner child. It is this inner child that sometimes escapes the suppression and goes wild. That inner child breaking out is of course what gets called the 'manic' phase. So learn to take care of yourself!
My observation is that all bipolar personalities or bipolar disorders have a common basic personality type. Not everyone with this type is bipolar but, in my humble opinion, everyone who is bipolar has this type in their history and background.
The type I am referencing is called 'Super-Responsible' in my writing and I learned that type from my mentors who called it 'Parental Inversion.' (John and Paula Sandford) This type is quite common and involves feeling responsible for taking care of others, for keeping things together, and rescuing people.
I have explained more about this type in my writings such as on Inner Healing > Spontaneity

What is Energy Psychology such as EFT tapping and how valid is it?

EFT tapping is effective and makes use of the property of memories that they are malleable when recalled with emotion. Emotional memories - the ones of most importance to us - can be 'edited' when they are in active recall.
In psychotherapy we help our client discover contradictory memories and experiences that will induce the emotional brain to revise the memory. We present the two memories in an active state - with emotion - alternately several times. Change in the memory occurs.
Eye movements have been used in another form of psychotherapy to accomplish the same thing.
EFT is a form of energy psychology and uses tapping on different meridian points to  discharge the memory of its emotional charge. The theory is controversial, or unconventional, because it assumes the presence of the body's energy meridians. Western science has not accepted their presence although they are used in acupuncture.
The 'scientific validity' of EFT depends on a science that much of western medicine does not accept. However, true science depends on observation. If there are many observations (testimonies) of success then the method is valid. On that basis I would say it is valid. But only if you can accept 'there are more things true than are dreamt of in our philosophies.'