Heal My Life

Uncomfortable talking about a life destroyed by those who are into 'casting spells and dabbling in magic.'

2011-11-19T08:05:00.000-05:00

A lot of damage can be done by those who out of hate and jealousy becomes "workers of iniquity." This is the story of Peggy (not real name) who has turned to both the church and to Wicca to break something off her life.

Here is how she starts: 'I am looking for some type of help that I need....the story that I have, most people don't believe, but I promise you it is 100% true, I have no reason to lie, I don't want the attention, I don't want money, I don't want anything other than just getting my life back...I have not had my life in so long, I am not even sure what my life is anymore, I just know my desperation for help. I'm not even sure how all of this fits, I'm not sure of anything anymore, except the pain and anger, and frustration and hurt....please help me...I have tried going to two others, but no one can seem to be able to do anything.'

I will skip some of her story to share about when she was engaged to be married: '.Two years later, I was dating my fiance when he went into the military. I was so happy I was going to be with him through the entire time, but circumstances broke us up, and when I went to my best friend at the time, she told me she hated me for having him for as long as I did and being able to be out in the open holding his hand, hugging him, kissing him, when she wanted him so bad...but then I found out they had been having an affair for about a year before she came and told me that, so of course I let the two of them be and went off my own way. I believe she is the one that may have put something on me, she had been into that kind of thing, casting spells and dabbling in magic.'

So here is someone with hate, jealousy and wanting to possess Peggy's fiance. Her 'friend' casts spells and dabbles in magic. Is that of significance? Was her friend using spells to capture Peggy's fiance and may she have put a spell or curse on Peggy to make her relationships with men go badly? Because from here on, in Peggy's life, relationships with men did go badly.

Here is how it went with her first husband: 'My husband started losing his jobs, couldn't find a job and keep one to save his life, he was all over the place. Things were getting bad when I had to go back to work 2 weeks after our daughter was born so that we could try to keep bills paid and such. It was like a downward spiral after that, nothing went right. I attributed it to us being young and inexperienced. I had to work 3 jobs to try to make ends meet, we stayed together for less than six months before we filed for divorce. During that time, things just kept going downhill for us. At that time, my husband told me he felt like a dark cloud got the better or him when he was around me. He said he couldn't explain it, but he felt so helpless and angry when he would get around me. After the divorce, it took him a little bit, but he started getting his life together, getting a good job, straightening the damage that was caused during our marriage out, and finally getting his life straight.'

The observations of the husband suggest a spell or curse designed to drive the man away from Peggy.

A second marriage resulted in another such scene: "My second husband was doing good before he came into contact with me. Granted, it wasn't him being rich, but he had a job, a truck, a life before he met me...then we met, I got pregnant with my son, and we got married, but even before when I first found out I was pregnant, things started going downhill for him....he lost a job that he had managed to keep for about 2 years, and after that, the downward spiral started again, a little worse this time...we filed for divorce, separated, etc, and he managed to start pulling his life back together again...he got a good job, got into a home, got a new truck, etc...it was like clockwork..."

Now she is concerned with what is happening to her third husband: "Now it's happening again....my third husband is going through the EXACT same thing that my first two husbands went through, and the most scary part is that he tells me that when he's angry at something, and I do something small that makes him mad, he tells me that he doesn't know why, but he just has the urge to hit me. He has never done so, his senses tell him better, but he says he gets so angry with me that he has the urge to hit me and he's never felt like that with a woman he's been with."

So this woman sense a strange force at work destroying her relationship with men. She can trace it back to her girlfriend who was into that kind of thing: casting spells and dabbling in magic.

Peggy has tried different directions to break this off her life and her husbands without success. She needs clear guidance as to how to break a curse in Christ and that it is more effective than other methods.

Witchcraft, Spell or Curse in Africa - a Plea for Help

2011-10-04T13:15:00.000-04:00

The Plea for Help for African witchcraft, spell or curse.

Date: Tuesday, October 4, 2011, 6:15 AM

Dear Mr Hartwell,

I am writing to you from South Africa, and desperately in need of

counseling, I came across your website while looking for the different types

of curses. (www.HealMyLife.com Types of Curses, Deliverance from Curses and Breaking Curses.)

I will have to explain my situation to you, I am not very clued up on witchcraft

but I believe that my family and I are under a spell, and I have been praying for

years to see victory and I seem to be praying amiss, you see sir, a few years ago

I had a run in with one of the local servants in the area, when I got back from work

the next day I found that the front windows of our home and the gates had been

smeared with human faeces, we just cleaned it up, but since, I have been unable to hold

on to a single helper for more than a month. I know it sounds trivial but being under

this spell has caused us more harm than you could ever imagine, we seem to be the

laughing stock of the neighborhood and the Bible says that the Lord has made us the

head and not the tail, he has set us above and not below, I truly am at my wits end

could you please advise me on how to pray in this area, I would really appreciate it.

George Hartwell replies:

As you read my various articles on breaking curses and dealing with witchcraft, both on HealMyLife.com and listening-prayer.com, develop a set prayer to use in your case. A set or crafted prayer is written carefully once to be used many times.

Listen to God to help you and use my articles to guide and scripture and write out a prayer. Spending time with God you are asking "How should I pray about this so Jesus can be shown to have the victory in this situation?"

Send it to me when you have a first draft and I will help you in crafting your "Set Prayer." Then you use that prayer every day. A "Set Prayer" is something like a cannon in warfare. Once you have your gun in place it can help win the battle.

There are other things to do and we will add them after you develop your 'set prayer.' Let us get you into victory in Christ.

See the following articles:

Breaking a curse by praying for a Peace Bond

2011-08-07T22:52:00.000-04:00

Jesus teaches us to persist in prayer saying will not God vindicate His People. When a judge posts a Peace Bond it is a judgement that keep a person safe from harassment. One of the meanings of vindicate is to deliver one from wrong, oppression or the like.

Curses cause demonic oppression and we need deliverance from them, vindication. This asking to be free from the oppression from curses is what Jesus means by vindication. Jesus is saying that we can pray for a Peace Bond against enemy harassment.

I explain more about breaking a curse by praying for a peace bond on Listening-prayer.com.

There I suggest that one can prepare a brief and present it to the Heavenly Council and ask for their judgement. I expect that there will be an easing up of oppression and harassment from this.

How to Break a Curse using Jesus in Between

2011-08-07T22:36:00.000-04:00

If you are a Christian who needs to break a curse then I have a lot to say about that . For now let my link you to my article on Listening-prayer.com about how to break a curse with my Jesus in Between prayer.

There are many ways that Christians can experience coming under a curse. Our own sinful dabbling in psychic, occult, Wicca, ouiji board, will act like a curse. So will 'witchcraft prayer' - these are controlling prayers where we try to impose our will on another. We may use demonic 'spiritual warfare' where we break rank and take authority that we do not have by so-called 'binding' Satan or Princes of the air.

Many Christians have experienced the impact of people speaking ill of them, of shame curses, of witchcraft and Voodoo, of other Christians cursing them through so-called Christian prayer. For the people experiencing the oppression, ill-health, physical attacks, nighttime attacks, bad dreams, etc. the effects are very real. Curses cause us to come under demonic oppression.

When Jesus says; "I am the Door of the sheep" John 10:7, I picture the sheep fold made of rocks in the wilderness. Once the sheep are in for the night the shepherd sleeps right in the entrance so that no wild animal can get in without coming through him.

When we ask Jesus to be in between us and any source of curses we are saying that you have to come through Jesus before you can get to me. Jesus is the door, the shield, the firewall between us and any source of cursing. This is a powerful picture and a true one and an effective prayer for breaking curses.

Couple Therapy Mississauga

2011-07-24T22:05:00.002-04:00

From my office in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, I provide couple therapy with a key focus on bonding.

A focus on bonding in couple therapy is supported by the research by John Bowlby and the many others that have taken his original work further. John Bowlby had the courage of his convictions to ground therapy issues of children in the relationships in the family. This stance was unpopular among Freudian analysts at the time. Everything, they believed was in the child's fantasy life. Bolby was able to show that any lengthy abandonment of a child in the early years had significant impact on later character and personality.

Bowlby fought to establish that the bonding between mother and child on a continuous basis was an absolute essential to a child's mental health. Professionals resisted the implications of this assertion even when it was backed by research and observations from several independent researchers.

It is now being asserted that the bonding of a couple is absolutely essential for the health of the marriage and the couple. This realization is new. Few couple therapists assert it. I take it as proven and build my couple therapy work in Mississauga on this foundation.

Most couples are happy with the focus on their bonding and attachment. Intuitively they know that this is the right focus for them.

Marriage counsellor MIssissauga

2011-07-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Marriage counsellor Mississauga or Marriage counsellor Oakville or Marriage counsellor Toronto are search terms that find my web site HealMyLife.com - A christian counselling web site.

Christians and those without a strong faith stance or another faith stance might turn to a Christian marriage counsellor because it is known that we esteem marriage and do not quickly and easily encourage separation and divorce. That is true. Secular counselors often are much too very quick to suggest pulling the plug on a marriage.

The tools and skills involved in marriage counselling are needed whether one is Christian or of another faith stance or secular. It is not often that I get to use the skills of life transforming prayer therapy in the midst of marital therapy at my office in Mississauga.. Those types of interventions are vest provided within the context of individual therapy and used for individual root issues.

My focus as a marriage counsellor is to use focus on emotional bonding, the marital connection of the couple. This requires both marriage counsellor and both members of the couple to practice emotional listening skills. This is demonstrated with verbal and nonverbal acknowledgement of the feelings of one's partner.

We can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to helps us in this but real humility is needed to set aside one's own position and to listen to and acknowledge the other. It is hard work to change habits of asserting or defending one's own position. God can help us but we are the one's that need to humble ourselves and listen to our partner with love.

Marriage counsellor MIssissauga

2011-07-24T21:47:00.000-04:00

Christian marriage Counselling

2011-07-24T21:19:00.000-04:00

My approach to Christian marriage counselling is to provide:

Enough time so each partner has time to express themselves and be acknowledged both by me and their partner.
enough time to provide some insight and do some work around some issue,
and to leave the session with some resolution or direction regarding that issue.

Enough time means that I provide 90 minute Christian marriage counselling sessions.

For more intense work I provide up to six hours per day of Christian marriage retreat or Christian marriage retreats. These are provided for one couple at a time so that a couple can do an intensive marriage therapy retreat. These Christian marriage retreats can be for two, three or up to five days.

Marital Therapy by a Christian Counsellor

2011-07-24T20:16:00.000-04:00

Being a Christian counsellor and providing marital therapy in Mississauga Ontario, Canada is a joy to me and a blessing to those couples who maintain regular appointments.
Christian couples come to my office in Mississauga from Oakville, Etobicoke, Brampton and Toronto. Couples search for marital therapy Oakville, or marital therapy GTA, for example, or Christian marital therapy. What do Christian couples expect from a therapist?
Quite simply people expect:

to be respected as people and
treated fairly.
To be listened to with a wise and objective position, that is
Not taking sides and
Not pushing your own agenda.

This means that the first question that I ask a couple asking for Marital therapy is what is their goals. The only way I can not impose my own agenda it by asking for a listening to their agenda.

I need to be careful not to takes sides. I take a fairly objective stance. I do not let my subjective biases take over. Each partner needs to be respected and handled even evenhandedly.

Yes, I am a Christian marital therapist but one would hope that the above guidelines be respected by Christian, Catholic, secular or Jewish counselling services.

Of course I do not impose my faith position on any couple. I do not even pray with them to start without their explicit permission. It is all about respect.

Total honesty is not always a good policy

2011-03-23T17:32:00.002-04:00

People sometimes ask if complete honesty is a good idea. Here is one example:

"If I had a serious problem, should I be completely honest with my wife, even if it might mean divorce?"

My answer went like this: "No, complete honestly is immature. No mature adult lives like that. We make decisions what to share with whom, when and why. We choose our battles.

You need wisdom from God or godly counselors as whether to share this issue.

Counselors call it containment. You contain your emotional reactivity as a gift to others. You choose to be positive as a gift to others. You stay steady when others are losing their heads as a gift to others."

In my life I do not tell people every time I am angry, frustrated or disappointed with them. It is called 'choosing your battles.' I do not choose to control every aspect of life or others that displeases me. I choose to live with it.

I can be very emotional both tearful, joyful, and angry. But as a servant leader I chose to exercise self-control over what I share when. Otherwise I would bring emotional disorder and instability to my household and that is not my choice. Love involves self-control; emotional containment.

The Role of Prophetic Warnings

2010-07-23T00:54:00.001-04:00

It is clear from the writings of the prophets in the Bible that God raises up watchmen who are called to warn of impending problems. Prophets "dishonour Me,' says Yahweh, if they spare those who ought not to live. (Ezekiel 13:20.) There must be a prophetic warning.

Any prophet (pastor, counselor, elder) who misleads God's people by failing to warn and expose, are themselves subject to judgement. Such a false prophet fails God by encouraging the wicked "not to give up their wicked ways." (Ezekiel 13:22.) God's response is to "rescue my people from your clutches." There must be a prophetic warning.

You are familiar with the phrase: "peace when there is no peace." It is from Ezekiel 13:10. It is misleading the people to say "no problem" when there is a problem. It is misrepresenting God to say "Mercy, mercy" when sin has not been confronted and is defiling many. There must be a prophetic warning.

God's word from God's council will turn men away from sin. "Had they been present at my council, they could have proclaimed my words to my people and turned them from their evil way and from the wickedness of their deeds." Jeremiah 23:22. There must be a prophetic warning.

Now is not the time to turn away from Yahweh in favour of Baal. That is what the false prophets do according to Jeremiah 23:27. I know that God's word was spoken to Ralph Rutledge while he was still at Queensway Cathedral. Men of God spoke the oracles of God from his pulpit - words of warning, prophetic warnings.

God loves Rutledge and does not want him to perish; did not want the flock to be scattered. (Many were dismayed when their beloved pastor fell.)

But ultimately God must turn against those who do not repent, against those who scatter the flock. Yahweh promises to "take care of" those shepherds who do not take care of the flock. Jeremiah 23:2. But first there is a prophetic warning.

If the prophetic warning is delivered, then the blood is not on the hands of the prophet. He can leave and 'wipe the very dust from that town from his feet.'

Oops! Be careful with the Laying on of Hands

2010-05-29T22:36:00.006-04:00

A supporter of Ralph Rutledge recently suggested that I might want Ralph Rutledge to pray for me.
My answer is "NO!" I would NOT want Ralph Rutledge to pray for me.
I am very careful who I ask to pray for me because one of my mentors taught me that with the Laying on of Hands can come the transference of spirits. See also: Transference of spirits, Alexander William Ness, 1981, Welch Co.
Pastor Ness says: "Few people realize the dangers involved in laying on of hands. There is great danger in having just anyone laying hands on you.
I don't want what is in Ralph Rutledge to transfer into me. I don't want what is in Ralph Rutledge to transfer into anyone. Ness observes: "A homosexual evangelist laid hands on people and soon some of his admirers had like problems." (Page 120, Ness, 1981)
The way to avoid transference of spirits is to be careful with laying of of Hands (Hebrews 6:1, 1Timothy 5:22.). If the fruit of person's life is suspect then avoid prayer by him or for him involving laying on of hands. Avoid it.
So it is very poor advice to turn to Ralph Rutledge for prayer. I am much more afraid of the 'side effects' of such a prayer than the possible benefits.
The whole issue of demonic influence in Ralph Rutledge's ministry is raised by the title of the book that portrays his ministry at the Good Samaritan Church. The book is entitled "Demons in the Sanctuary."
I have dedicated a whole blog to this. The method that we will follow in trying to understand Ralph Rutledge will use the book "Demons in the Sanctuary" (Mariam Bellamy, Trafford, 2008, 978-1-4251-8582-4.)
The books imagines spiritual battles going on behind the ministry of Ralph Rutledge. The author imagines that God's angels have almost nil influence in his life and ministry. Instead she imagines many demons swarming over the congregation and the Spirit of Jezebel and a Python spirit have command of these demonic forces.
My intuition is that evil spirits working through Ralph Rutledge transfers over to those who pray with him (especially when touch is involved). Wrong spirits could transfer if someone prayed for him with laying on of hands.
I also suspect that prayer with touch not only transfers spirits to others but sets up his 'young men' victims for sexual seduction.
So be careful with the laying on of hands. Avoid praying for and with Ralph Rutledge so as to avoid transference of spirits. Avoid praying for and with Ralph Rutledge so as to avoid sexual seduction.
Ness tells us: "if the carrier of bad spirits has not confessed his sin, then you must cease having any further contact with him." (Ness, 1981, page 135.)
I would not at all be exposing Ralph Rutledge if he had renounced his sin, turned from it, been fully healed and delivered from it and taken measures to submit to accountability measures. To date this has not happened. At least, according to my sources it has been offered and refused.
We would all be happier if Ralph Rutledge was ready for restoration. The more I learn about him and his history the less evidence there is of that and the more pressing is the need for a warning.
I would remove all of this material if trusted sources confirm a major turn around in Rutledge. The majority of the evidence over many years suggests nothing of the sort and more of the opposite.

Gossip, slander and lies

2010-05-29T22:02:00.000-04:00

Recently, Mr. Mom wrote a comment that suggested that exposing Rev. Rutledge in this blog can be characterized as gossip, slander and lies. In fact, it is almost a knee jerk reaction to anyone who is trying to deal with sin issues to be labelled judgmental.

Of course, if I was being judgmental, or truly acting in a way that could be characterized as gossip, slander or telling lies then I would be the one in sin.

If I was acting in a clean and holy way, being faithful to the facts, with the motive of healing the Body of Christ, exposing evil in a biblical way and holding Ralph Rutledge accountable for a life of unprofessional, immoral and abusive conduct in a mature way, then the one accusing me of gossip, slander and lies is the one in sin.

One of God's main offensive or aggressive weapons is the word. Christian leaders must be skilled at using the Word of God for reproof and correction. If we cave in to everyone waving the flag of "judgmental" we would be allowing the mature Christian to be disarmed.

We don't want mature Christians afraid of loving healthy confrontation. We are supposed to be competent to confront. Jay Adams based his theology of Christian counselling on this concept.

This is a matter worthy of study and more blogs entries. We need to know what is and is not gossip, slander and being judgmental (in the bad way.)

Am I being too judgmental, uncaring in exposing Ralph Rutledge?

2010-05-23T00:07:00.001-04:00

I am answering KPM's comments on the blog post: Rev. Ralph Rutledge pastor Queensway scandal. My answer does not fit into a comment format. So it goes here.

Thank you KPM for joining the conversation again. I hope there is no disrespect if I call you Mr. Mom. I honour all the love and effort taken to raise children alone. It is no easy task.

I can see we have in common a desire for justice and mercy within the Body of Christ. You are expressing yourself by rushing to Ralph Rutledge’s defense. Of course you believe that you are doing what is good and right.

I believe what I am doing is both good and important. My life is deeply rooted in scripture. I have been filled with the Holy Spirit. I have been given the gift of Faith. I am called by God to be a counsellor. After years of prayerful Christian counselling my heart for God, my care for the Body of Christ and for people just grows more sensitive. I do care and I live a life of care. My heart is open to God.

Some things make me sad. I a moved to tears by the movement of God.

Some things make me mad. I am angry when I hear of a man taking advantage of men or women in the Body of Christ.

Whether I am right or wrong, God knows, I have from time to time been called to discern spiritual abuse and to expose it. This has been neither easy nor pleasant. The backlash against exposing any form of abuse always seems strong. (It may be that Satan works best when his agents are hidden and his purposes undiscovered and unexposed.)

In my Christian life, I have been shown the work of two “wolves in sheep clothing” – both were pastors in position of privilege and authority and there were suggestions that both were involved in molesting young men. I learned from the first experience just how deeply entrenched such a man can be.

When Pastor Rutledge was defrocked by the PAOC I was given one report from one of my students that was unsettling. It was reported to me that Rutledge had been invited into the home of unbelievers. At some point he went up to the bedroom of the young man to pray with him. According to the report that I was given he made some kind of homosexual advance on the teenager. The result, the fruit, was one young man and one family turned off of God.

When the so called ‘sex scandal at Queensway Cathedral’ happened I was already informed as to his possible unethical behaviour. So whenever Ralph Rutledge was minimizing the event and claiming it was an isolated incident, I had reason to believe that he was lying.

More recently, as I was counselling someone about another matter, I was given a second report of betrayal of trust. A father sent his son to Rutledge for counselling. This was an act of deep trust. Ralph Rutledge had a good reputation in the PAOC. But the young man was not given godly counsel regarding his gender confusion. The young man was handled in a way that deeply confused him and sent him reeling into homosexual activity.

This was a betrayal of the trust of the father who expected godly counsel for a man of God that he respected. This mishandling of the situation by Rutledge involved professionally unethical conduct. The damage caused was extensive. The fruit was deep wounding of a young man of God.

When this second report ‘come across my desk’ I felt moved take action. Two reports are significant because of scripture: "A fact is established in the mouth of two or three witnesses." “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.” (John 8:17, 1 Timothy 5:19)

The fruit of a 'wolf in sheep clothing' was present in these two initial reports. The POAC had already dealt with something like this so the evidence was strongly suggestive that Rutledge was my second "wolf in sheep clothing."

Counsellors take seriously the reporting of abuse. The law demands we report sexual abuse. Professional associations take seriously the misuse of authority of position to initiate sexual contact with clients. Our society does not look kindly on the covering up of homosexual abuse of young men within the church by clergy. The Catholic Church is being highlighted about this in the press.

Also Matthew 18 outlines a process of confrontation of Christians in sin. Some of the process is complete. The Superintendents of the Western Ontario Office of the Pentecostal Assemblies of God have listened to witnesses and have confronted Rev. Rutledge and removed him from a position of considerable success for the PAOC – Queensway Cathedral was on the way to being a mega church and hosted a television ministry.

Only one thing was missing. 1 Timothy 5:20 and Matthew 18:17 suggest that a public rebuke is needed; that there is a time to “tell it to the church.” There needed to be some clear public record of events so that the church was informed so that the wolf could not circle around and again attack the flock. There needed to be a warning. This was the action that was needed.

I researched to see if this job was done. I investigated in the modern way with a Google search to see if the history of the Ralph Rutledge Sex scandal was public knowledge. No, it was not.

Only a very small privileged in group knew this man’s character, his unrepentant attitude and his active sinful patterns. Anyone else was ignorant. Therefore, I believed that this was a matter of public interest. Anyone not in the know would be vulnerable to being preyed upon. The flock was vulnerable. The Bride was exposed to potential harm.

I felt it was required by God to have someone who perpetrates evil and sin upon the Bride of Christ be exposed. There are Biblical mandates to protect the flock, to expose evil to tell it to the church. Ephesians 5:11, Matthew 18:17. I had growing reason to believe that Ralph Rutledge was such a person.

I could either act like a man of God with courage, wisdom and love or I could play it safe. I could say: “I am not called to be a prophet. I am a pastor.” In other words I will heal the wounds of the sheep but not drive away the one who is wounding them. Or I could drive away the wolf.

But shepherds protect their flock. Jesus says that only those without the true heart of a shepherd “see the wolf coming and leave the sheep and flees.” John 10:12. Why do they run away from the job of protecting the sheep, of laying down their life for the sheep? What, my friend does it say?

It says it is because “THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE SHEEP!” Those who do not care run away from the wold in sheep clothing. I did not do that.

I care enough to put my neck on the line for the victims; for the many wounded young men and old men across this country. It is not that I am without sin or the sinful nature. But that is no reason not to act. Also, I did not have perfect knowledge. So, with humility, I could launch a process that could discover the truth. In time the truth would surface as we accumulate information and testimony about Ralph Rutledge.

I could ask for information, facts, that supported my suspicions or not. I could not be closed minded. I just had to report fairly what I know and let truth come out.

Although I also care about Ralph Rutledge I would sacrifice one wolf to save many sheep. If he is a wolf then I really do not care how far he has to go down. A wolf must be stopped. Enough is enough. God is not mocked. God is a consuming fire. God is Holy. God is Just.

So lets pray for truth to shine and evil be exposed. Lets call upon God to vindicate the Body of Christ; to intervene on behalf of victims of abuse, to protect the Bride even if it means that the wolves must go down. That, my friend, is how a shepherd feels when he has a heart for the sheep and a life dedicated to God.

Let us pray that all ungodly soul ties be broken; that all ungodly protection be lifted; that all ungodly prayer or curses be broken. I pray that God expose him. In the name of the Father, and the Son – Jesus Christ – and the Holy Spirit I pray that all satanic veils, screens, deceptions and protections around this man be broken. May the Holy fire of God, burn all that is not of God so that all that remains is the real and holy Ralph Rutledge. Amen – So be it.

Oops! Prayers of Protection that backfire.

2010-05-09T23:01:00.000-04:00

I have experienced in my own life and in the lives of my fellow Christians the problems that occur when we pray for protection in ways that backfire. I was puzzled when I lost a professional position where I was on provision. I did not connect it with my unwise daily prayers against territorial spirits over Edmonton and the University Hospital where I worked. What a confusing set back.

I saw a close friend,. Tom, lose his marriage and his financial security as he persisted in the same kind of prayer of binding territorial spirits.

A Christian couple struggled with financial problems and difficulty with their son. They, too, were using aggressive 'spiritual warfare.'

God bless Leanne Payne. I attended a Pastoral Care School with others from St. George the Martyr Anglican Church. All this thanks to the organisation of Linda Riesberry. She sounded the trumpet against arrogant prayer that purports to "bind" principalities and powers. She found that it made things worse. The wrong type of protection or spiritual warfare prayer acted just like a curse.

I had committed an almost unrecoverable error. I had dug a hole for myself and my life was sinking down. I was following what I was taught only what I was taught just about destroyed me. I lost a job that would be a major set back in my professional career.

I needed to repent. I did repent. I needed to humble myself. I did humble myself. I had to call a halt to my 'power trip in prayer.' I did. No more "binding" prayer for me. No more focus on the enemy.

I began to find others who understood what Leanne Payne was saying. I found that Judson Cornwall was rebuked by the Lord of 'worshiping demons' and giving Satan top billing at his worship service when he had no idea the danger that he was in when he publicly bound demons who interfered with the worship.

John Dawson shared a significant story in New Zealand about a large Christian praise, prayer and worship festival that included native indigenous people. At a highlight of worship and prayer a chief of the area took authority over a territorial spirit believed to be over one of the mountains. Instead of victory the chief was instantly struck down as if by lightening. This story broadened the warning to include all large praise gatherings with indigenous peoples.

Rick Joyner saw it in a vision. It had to do with the Cloak of Humility and the protection that it provided. Contrast that protection with a group that decided on their own to leave the mountain and attack the enemy forces and were thoroughly decimated.

John Paul Jackson explains this in his book: "Needless Casualties of War." In the book he warns against taking on evil in heavenly places; that our place is ground spiritual warfare - authority over earthly demons. In his prophetic dream he came to see that the way people and congregations were praying lead to an attack on them that they did not even understand was happening. When congregations chose to change the way they were praying the bad fruit ceased and protection returned.

I have seen those who refused to change their style of prayer go deeper into defeat.

I fought to recover and I believe that I am safe and hidden in Christ. I learned a lesson that I will never forget. I have learned the value of humility and the danger of my spiritual pride. Now I am blessed.

Pray for Ralph Rutledge

2009-12-29T16:15:00.008-05:00

We need to pray for Ralph Rutledge. We need to craft that prayer with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We need to pray the Word of God for Ralph Rutledge.

We will remember that God chose Nathan - a prophet - to confront David when he was in sexual sin and deadly cover-up games. God's love for David lead to confrontation.

We also remember that Jesus brought issues out in the open. Pharisees avoided open debate and retreat to violence - "Kill him." Jesus loved with tough love.

God loves Ralph Rutledge enough to confront him, to expose his sin, to discipline him. May God the Father discipline the son He loves as it says in Hebrews 12:5 and following.

God is always ready to restore. He is the God of the fresh start. A broken and a contrite heart he will not despise. So let us lovingly pray that God will do whatever it takes to bring an open, humble and contrite heart.

I will suggest three different prayers. You choose one that is appropriate to you based on your knowledge and experience of Ralph and the discernment of the Holy Spirit.

Together let us pray:

1. "God, our loving Father, Holy One, please let your love, your fire, a spirit of godly repentance fall on Ralph so that he may enter your presence with holy hands and a clean heart."

2. "Father God, do whatever it takes to break through to Ralph. Do whatever it takes to make him willing to break open in confession and contrition. Speak love and truth by your Spirit to his inner being. May healing come to his heart and spirit and the strongholds of evil and sin be broken, so that there is rejoicing in Zion and the captives may be set free."

3. "Father, deliver us from evil. Stop this man from messing with the Bride of Christ. Do whatever you have to do to deliver us from this man's abuse. Do whatever you have to do to stop these offenses against your little ones, your little children. Let there be a peace bond from heaven. Intervene now and deliver us from evil."

Related Posts: The Ralph Rutledge Queensway Scandal and Demons in the Sanctuary - a novel.

Demons in the Sanctuary

2009-12-25T20:32:00.013-05:00

Demons in the Sanctuary (Miriam E. Bellamy, Trafford, 2008)

This is a fiction book about the supernatural in the church by a woman

who has served As a leader in several churches. Miriam Bellamy

is a former accountant who is now involved in writing and the

art community. Currently she resides in Cambridge, Ontario.

The book is interesting because, according to some, it sheds light

on a later time in Ralph Rutledge's ministry when he was a pastor

of a church in the Kitchener Waterloo area of Ontario, Canada.

A fiction book is often based on the writer's observations of actual events.

Nothing in the account can be taken literally, of course. Any discussion

of the book must remember that there may be truths about Ralph Rutledge

in the book but not everything in the book is true because it is,

after all, a work of fiction.

My approach to the book will be one of open minded curiosity.

Miriam observed Rev. Ralph Rutledge first hand. She was an

insider in the church where he was a pastor. When I read the book

I will be learning how deeply she and her family were effected

by Rutledge. I will be learning about his leadership style, how he

worked with the church boards and his financial accountability.

One quote from the book: "Resentment over her pastor's misspending

was gradually seeping into her awareness, gnawing at her spirit."

There will be one thing missing from the book. She cannot say:

"This man is Ralph Rutledge." But this we do know, Rutledge was

pastor at Good Samaritan Church.

Our author, Miriam Bellamy, was secretary-Treasurer of the

board of Good Samaritan Church. As such it was her job to take

minutes of the board meetings of Good Samaritan Church.

She transcribed every word of mediation meetings so that

the record would be unbiased. She confirms to me that

she has comprehensive archival information in her possession

so that the truthfulness of any conclusions I might draw

from the book can be confirmed from the records of

Ralph Rutledge's behaviour. It sounds like one can learn a lot about

Ralph Rutledge by reading "Demons in the Sanctuary."

The senior pastor in the books first chapter is Pastor Rafe Rutherford

and one of the members of the church by the name of Mira is

concerned about her husband's alienation from the Pastor Rafe.

Pastor Rafe does not seem to take a personal interest in her

husband Dan. He always pressed Dan to do handyman duty

around the church and the parsonage. It seemed as if he's

only interested in what Dan can do for him. Dan had "caught

the minister in several lies completely souring him on the man."

I will have to purchase the book to read more and I suggest that

my readers do the same if they want to learn more about Pastor

Ralph Rutledge.

Dec. 29, 2009 Update: I have received word from a previous elder at Good Samaritan Church. His report is that Miriam Bellamy's book, Demons in the Sanctuary, "is a good portrayal of what it was actually like."

January 4, 2010: I will study Demons in the Sanctuary and post in a separate blog: http://prayer-power.blogspot.com/ the first entry on Chapter One is called: Masculine Tough and Feminine Soft. Other entries cover topics of Christian pastor providing spiritual covering, pastor in rebellion, control the exits with threats and curses, the blessing of unity, church scandal and financial wrongdoing, nicolaitanism - the triumph of clergy over the laity, and narcissistic personality pastor.

January 11, 2010 A confirmation from a member of the Board at Good Samaritan church with Miriam Bellamy when Ralph Rutledge was pastor that: "I was amazed. She wrote it just like it happened."

February 22, 2011 Another confirmation that 'Demons in the Sanctuary' is an accurate portrayal of Ralph Rutledge. I have just had contact from someone who knows the Rutledge family well and is well acquainted with Ralph Rutledge. This source gives testimony that Mariam's book "Demons in the Sanctuary" is an accurate portrayal of Rutledge's character.

This source described Ralph Rutledge to me as a "wolf in sheep's clothing" - as one who is cunning, prideful and "someone who acts one way for you...and another for someone else. He always plays to his audience."

"It's crystal clear the only reason why you have chosen to discuss this issue, and the man is because his sin is ongoing, and he is a very real threat and danger to other unsuspecting believers. Especially vulnerable young men who are confused and having self identity problems.'

Rev. Ralph Rutledge pastor Queensway scandal

2009-12-06T15:05:00.023-05:00

Ralph Rutledge was pastor of Queensway Cathedral Pentecostal Church until the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada (PAOC) defrocked him. Yes pastor Ralph Rutledge was removed from being head pastor of Queensway Cathedral and his credentials to preach within his denomination were removed as well. This was severe discipline from those in charge of overseeing the pastors in the POAC.

As I understand it, the PAOC leadership considered the details of this discipline hearing to be confidential. They published very little about whatever was confessed or witnessed. So the Ralph Rutledge scandal remains in obscurity.

They remained silent when Ralph Rutledge began to manipulate the story to his advantage and make them look bad. He (The abuser) pleads 'victim' and there was nothing said. He makes the church look bad: 'Those bad guys are picking on poor Ralph.'

Most of us around Queensway Cathedral heard rumours that the scandal involved homosexuality. But there was no clear statement to that effect, just rumours. The details as to what this meant did not get out.

As I remember it, and I may be wrong, Ralph admitted to some homosexuality but not a lot of homosexuality. He was the victim not the aggressor. He may have suggested that an adult male molested him but I am not sure.

I had contact with students and clients that sometimes provide unexpected information. One of my students brought information that Ralph's behaviour involved a much larger breach of professional ethics, religious standards and the moral guidelines followed by his church ans denomination. Then recently a client reported that her boyfriend had been seriously messed up by what Rev. Rutledge said and did to him when as a young man he was sent to Rutledge for counselling. His father sent him and obviously put trust in his beloved pastor that, if this report is true, was seriously betrayed.

If these reports are confirmed by other credible sources that we have a very serious scandal - a pastor abusing pastoral authority and position by actively soliciting young men. Ralph Rutledge was a significant Canadian public figure based on the height of Ralph Rutledge's popularity, the size of Queensway Cathedral and the far reach of his television ministry. He still has a following and a ministry: "Grace Restoration Ministries" of Toronto, Canada "a faith based outreach ministry to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the poor and needy of the world, and to bring healing the bruised and broken."

I fear that the harm done to these young men in their gender identity, their relationship with God, in their faith and in their trust of men will be found to be considerable. I believe these wounded individuals needs support to go public about their abuse. That is part of their healing process. I am publishing this blog entry to initiate a process of bringing the truth to light and let healing begin. I fear that much harm has been done may continue to be done if we allow these allegations to go unattended.

I fear that the PAOC may have left a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' loose to harass everyone else. It is as if they were to say "We don't want any homosexuals in the PAOC but you can go a prey on others in the Body of Christ." This compromise would leave the rest of the church open to possible abuse of the same type that they decided was not appropriate for a pastor in the PAOC.

Matthew 18 describes a process of confronting sin. There are several steps in increasing public exposure from a private encounter, to bringing witnesses to a public decision by the church. Well we got to the final level. They had listened to the witnesses. A decision was made public. But no details were revealed. The sin of Ralph Rutledge was not exposed. There was no full exposure and no apology to the Queensway Cathedral in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. To this day I have not heard Ralph Rutledge reflect a broken and contrite heart about this issue. There has been no humility. No confession.

The wolf that remains hidden can still attack the sheep. A pastor is a shepherd. Shepherds protect their flock. That is why the PAOC overseers removed Ralph Rutledge. Shepherds expose wolfs and 'blow the whistle.' We got that kind of shepherding for the PAOC now we need it for the rest of the Bride of Christ.

Update (Dec. 21, 2009) Since publishing on the Ralph Rutledge scandal two persons have contacted me with confirming evidence and a concern that this matter be brought to the light.

Update (Dec. 23, 2009) Two sources indicate that the book "Demons in the Sanctuary" by a Miriam Bellamy has relevance to Ralph Rutledge and his 'leadership' in a local church since being kicked out of the POAC. This fictional account describes a "pastor's arrogant pride and unethical conduct."

Update (Dec 27, 2009) A man who is to this day dealing with the fallout of his relationship with Ralph Rutledge. This man needs prayer to deal with an extremely painful matter arising out of his relationship with Ralph Rutledge. Please pray for him and all those who are still suffering from their relationship with this man. This particular man said: "I am sorry that I ever met Ralph Rutledge."

Update (Dec. 28, 2009) Ralph Rutledge phoned me today to say that none of the allegations about him are true. He said that the events referred to are from 20 years ago. He questioned my motives in reporting these things implying it was some kind of personal vendetta. Also, in his opinion dragging these things up would hurt the Body of Christ. He was angry at me. There was no humility, no self reflection on his own sin.

That is the gist of it. I was not able to take notes. I could report him more accurately if he wrote something out and e-mailed it to me. I did invite people to contact me with information to add to this story. If you do so you need to identify yourself: full name, address and phone number so that I can verify my facts. It is best to write or e-mail and, then, if and when it is appropriate I will phone you with specific questions.

My response to Ralph is: One - that the good shepherd who is protecting the flock does so out of obedience and love. Two - my information sources suggest to me that the Rutledge's misuse of the responsibility and authority of the role of pastor (shepherd) goes back at least 20 years and that the behavior is also quite recent and likely ongoing. Third: When the wolf is caught eating lambs, the shepherd goes by the evidence in front of him not the wolf's denial. When Jesus said: "By their fruit you will know them" he meant the attitude and character of the person and actual reports of his ministry. Jesus is clearly saying to identify the 'wolf in sheep clothing' by actual track record not words.

Update Dec. 29, 2009. An elder from the Good Samaritan Church reports much hurt from Ralph Rutledges time as senior pastor there. He confirms many concerns with Ralph's behaviour (sexual and financial) that were never resolved. One financial accusation was "to do with net4jesus internet deal that Ralph put together apparently without approval of the board." It becomes clear to me that Rutledge was not held in check by or accountable to the Board of Good Samaritan Church. He controlled and intimidated them! This rebellion against appointed authority is one example of bad fruit in reports of Rutledge's ministry.

Update Dec. 30, 2009 I now have information from a reliable source that supports the contention that Ralph Rutledge has not fully committed himself to transforming his life and is not prepared to make a whole-hearted commitment to saying no to his sin patterns. He will not submit to an accountability process to hold his feet to the fire. He can play games with the counselling process but he resists the deep commitment that changing such strongholds requires. This is another report of behaviour and attitude and, therefore, fruit.

Hebrews 12:1 adjures us to "lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race set before us." My information indicates that Ralph is not doing willing to do that. He will not allow God to heal his life he will not be accountable for his sexual behavior.

Update January 4, 2010 I did not know this but it appears that Ralph Rutledge made several attempts to be reinstated by the PAOC - to get his papers to preach as a PAOC pastor. In spite of his considerable influence and top level contacts this never happened. This would be evidence that in the judgement of the PAOC Rutledge was not ready for restoration at the time this happened.

Update January 6, 2010 I need to report that Ralph Rutledge not only intimidated and controlled the board of the Good Samaritan Church but he intimidates those who have been wounded by him or who might expose him. He has many tricks to use to cover his tracks and avoid accountability. Just like he phoned me to express displeasure at this blog he also phones those he has wounded if he hears they are talking about him. If this is to be exposed we need the backbone and courage to not be intimidated.

Update May 9, 2010 I have had several discussions with the author of Demons in the Sanctuary and have met with the members of the board of the Good Samaritan Church to hear first hand reports of their experience when on the board when Ralph Rutledge was the head pastor. No one provided evidence that suggests that the public should not be concerned about Rutledge. The evidence people present to me not only confirms my original concerns but add other concerns of possible spiritual abuse (misuse of the power and position of being the head pastor in a way that hurt others) possible financial abuse (misuse of the power and position of head pastor and the trust engendered by that to build his own financial position at the expense of others). So the account of Rutledge's time at Good Samaritan Church adds to what was already suspected from Queensway Cathedral of possible sexual abuse (misuse of the trust position of being a respected pastor to engage in homosexual relations) and then possible misuse of his power and position to cover up and avoid accountability for these actions.

Update: July 12, 2011. The news is not good for those who love Ralph Rutledge. Over the last year there has been no documented facts that would support the thesis that he has faced his sexual addiction, sought treatment, turned away from it and established an accountability group to hold him to it. Nor is there any evidence that he does not have a sexual addiction which has lead to crossing boundaries in his professional role as a pastor.
The perspective presented in Mariam Bellamy's book Demons in the Sanctuary, based on his final years at the Good Samaritan Church in Breslau, has been confirmed repeatedly by everyone I have contacted or who has contacted me as credible witnesses. Many insiders affirm that the facts are not fiction although the names have been changed.
That book, based on supportive church minutes and documents, points to boundary issues in personal relationships, habitual lying, putting glory focus on himself rather than God, unprofessional 'sexual' gestures, speech and behavior, sexual harassment, money schemes (dual relationships) and manipulating the personal and positional power that he had as a minister.
The evidence to dis confirm these affirmations just has not surfaced.

Related Posts to this blog: Demons in the Sanctuary - a fiction novel, and Pray for Ralph Rutledge three suggested prayers.

Forgiveness Prayer - how to minister forgiveness

2009-10-11T23:30:00.004-04:00

On my new web site WWW.listening-prayer.com I recently added a new article on ministering forgiveness. It is called Forgiveness Prayer - asking God for forgiveness of sins.

Ministering forgiveness means that the inner healing prayer touches the heart. The most powerful ways to do that engage deep emotions or use the imagination. Faith of the heart strategies are listed in faith of the heart prayers.

When we are emotional our heart is open. When we activate our creative sanctified imaginations our spirit is engaged. One of the heart prayer strategies is "Use the imagination. Create prayer pictures and dramas."

So how do I minister forgiveness? I create a picture. I set up a picture - a Dialogue with Jesus Scene. I ask my client to imagine a safe place, either real or imagined, where they would feel comfortable meeting with Jesus.

In the scene I might have them ask Jesus directly: "Do you forgive me?"

Then we wait for the response. Jesus may respond verbally or non-verbally (with a feeling of comfort or love). By using an imagined encounter with God, the Holy Spirit is able to communicate God's Word directly to our spirit. Then what happens is powerful. Because the active Word of God experienced through listening prayer is living and active and penetrates our heart.

The result is an active encounter with God - a healing encounter that ministers God's love, acceptance and forgiveness to our heart.

Broken Heart Prayer

2009-10-05T14:11:00.003-04:00

Tami writes in from South Africa to report success using the Broken Heart Prayer from www.HealMyLife.com. This prayer is used in times of Heart Break and Depression.

When going through times of great grief, stress and heart break you have a choice. Give your heart to God and your heart may stay soft and love again. Suffer alone and your heart may become hardened to love. Later you may want to love and even get married but your heart refuses to cooperate. Here is what Tami says:

"I have said the Broken heart prayer by giving my heart to precious Jesus.
I felt the holy spirit in my presence in this office. I felt my body
reacting and I stopped shivering from pain and sadness.

I gave Lord my situation as its heavy for me and He is the only one who
gave take care of what I am going through, I want Him to intervene in
this situation and I want to be free from hatred and negative thoughts.
In Jesus name I pray that I may find Healing and that I may be able to
forgive and move on to the land where the Lord has prepared for me.

Thank you and may God Bless.

Tami

Love therapy - New site launches

2009-09-30T20:02:00.007-04:00

www.Love-Therapy.ca has been launched to provide content to people looking for information about sex therapy, marital intimacy, love bonding in marriage and so on.

The therapy highlighted is emotionally focused couple therapy. The theory and practice of this was developed in Canada.

Create a silent divorce

One question covered is: What are the ways that we destroy love and intimacy and end up in silent divorce?

I discuss how lack of trust (fear) leads in to control. Then control destroys love. The question addressed is: "How does fear and control block marital intimacy and create the silent divorce?"

I focus in on the avoidant personality. This can be studied in John and Paula Sandford's book: Transformation of the Inner Man. They call this Flight from life.

But there is more than one personality type that avoids intimacy. So we look at the topic personality types that avoid intimacy. I write: There are 7 Types of Intimacy Avoiders - Which Group are You in?

On the positive side I add Twelve ways to Strengthen your Marriage Bond. In this I discuss the many ways that a person can allow and encourage the personal connection, the bonding, and the love connection that God intends for the marriage relationship.

Getting around to sex. The first page on sex highlights a recent study that shows that great sex is more about love and connecting.

Emotionally focused couple therapy secures couple bonding in 12 sessions

Healing of pained heart in grief

2009-09-27T21:29:00.004-04:00

Dear George,

My son, Daniel, passed away suddenly 10 years ago from a virus that attacked his heart. There are no words to describe the pain in my heart. I have an aunty and cousins who instead of expressing even the tiniest bit of compassion and caring, are always negative and complain to me about their problems which are very trivial. This has added to the pain in my heart. I just want them to leave me alone.

Tonight I handed my heart to Jesus for Him to heal this immense pain which has prevented me from moving on with my life. I feel that Jesus healed my heart and returned it to me whole and healthy. I felt a pale pink energy (love) radiating from my heart. I thank God and Jesus for coming into my life and healing my heart.

This letter expresses what many are searching for - heart healing. Here is how I came to develop this prayer for the broken heart.

I (George) experienced pain when my life seemed to fall apart. My wife left me, which meant, eventually, loss of contact with my two sons: David was 5 and Kip was 10 years old. I also lost a job I enjoyed with would mean moving away from the small town into which we had settled. It meant selling the home I loved and the first one I had ever owned.

I decided to put my heart in God's hands and physically I went through the motions of this. I did this so that I would not grow hard and bitter and be unable to love again. I needed to move away form hardness of heart toward a soft loving heart.

It worked. Over the years I have grown more and more able to love. Rather than closing down I am opening up. I have experienced the value of putting the pieces of my broken heart into God's care.

Only God can heal my heart. I used the broken heart prayer. See prayer in marriage crisis, broken heart and depression.

Witchcraft Prayer – Praying to Control

2009-09-24T15:50:00.004-04:00

Witchcraft Prayers are prayers that control

Prayers where we set the goals without listening to God are witchcraft prayers. In are witchcraft prayers we decide how God will meet a particular need. As ambassadors of Christ we must represent accurately the will of God. To do this we must be following orders and staying in touch.That is the value of listening prayer.

An individual prayed that their family member would get sick every time they drank and that is what happened. As ambassadors Christians have a lot of authority. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Because God is deeply committed to health I believe that it does not represent God well to speak sickness on someone so they will not act on their addiction.

It is especially controlling if the person with the addiction has not made the choice to be free. Nor have not asked to be made sick every time they drink (or smoke). Here we are going against the person’s free will by imposing our own will. Imposing our own will, ‘our good idea,’ is, I believe, controlling. It is therefore a witchcraft type prayer.

God is committed to our choice, our freedom to choose, and is not into controlling prayer, not into witchcraft prayer. I have explained - Fear and Control - that lack of trust always underlies the need for control.

More prayer guidelines on HealMyLife.com articles on spiritual warfare and prayer guidelines.

My model of inner healing

2009-09-22T18:41:00.002-04:00

I wish I know my model of inner healing. The best example is what I do in a counselling sessions where inner healing is appropriate.

Honestly, many very effective counselors cannot put into words and rules the reason for everything they do. Those rules are not put into an organized system.

To get this into your hands we would need to tape my sessions. Put these into a typed form. Then sit down with some interested students and have them ask questions. Why did you do that?

We would then right down my explanations. We would observe to be sure that I was consistent in following the rules. Once confirmed we would have the basic rules of my model of inner healing.

Sort these out and organize them into a system and we would be able to construct my model of inner healing.

Maybe we should do that.

What is a curse?

2009-09-19T10:07:00.004-04:00

What is a curse? A curse is negative energy. The opposite, a blessing, is positive energy.

Our essential being is spiritual. God's breath gave us life. God's Spirit sustains us, because we are spirit.

Therefore what we don't see with our physical eyes, or feel with our hands or hear with our ears can and does touch us. Good or evil is done to our spirit by spiritual forces. Curses and blessings have spiritual force.

That is why Jesus says that our hatred is like murder. Hatred has deadly force in the spirit. Hatred does murder to our human spirit. Hatred is a form of evil with energy equivalent to that of a curse. To be practical hatred is a form of cursing. We need to protect ourselves in Jesus name from curses in the form of hatred coming from those who hate us.

Spoken curses come in a variety of forms. You see how answering: "What is a curse?" is not always simple. Maybe at the end we can come up with something.

I have come to understand that abuse is any form of not seeing, welcoming and acknowledging the real you. When the family plays with a label for you, even benign of 'good' ones, the result is not seeing the real you. So one form of verbal curse is identity labels that miss the essential magnificent you. Your family labels you the "baby" and never acts as if you had any credibility or capability. That is a powerful curse! Christian prayer therapy of some depth and duration may be needed to undo a lifetime of reinforcement of this type of identity casting family label.

A medical diagnosis can become a person's identity label. An example is the repeated statement "I am bipolar." or "I am Schizophrenic." The truth is you are who you are. You are a child of God. You were created by God in love and redeemed by God with love.

We tend to believe the doctor when he gives his diagnosis and prognosis. He doesn't say "God willing" or "unless there is a miracle" when he says you have cancer and it is likely that you will die in six months. But God is sovereign over my life. God gives and God takes away. I put a doctor's diagnosis and prognosis under the mighty hand of God who calls into being that which is not. So as common a thing as a medical diagnosis can be a curse.

So far we have seen this:

A curse is a form of negative energy.
Hatred is a form of curse.
Identity casting family labels act as curses.
A medical diagnosis taken as one's identity is a curse.
A medical diagnosis and prognosis can act as a verbal curse.

This is a partial answer to what is a curse.

Christian Marriage Retreats

2009-09-18T20:25:00.003-04:00

A retreat is not magic simply because you spend more time in therapy. That sounds a little overwhelming!

Here is what happens to me and my clients at a typical Christian marriage retreat.

Goal setting does not need to be repeated at each session. This saves some time.
The topics at each session are fresh in each our minds as we move on in the retreat.
Informal time together helps build trust and as we relax we become more creative.

The results are encouraging.

I discover new insights that help this couple.
These insights are so helpful that they become tools that I can use to help other couples.
The enhanced trust, creativity and focus means enhanced therapeutic gains for the couple.

So Christian marriage retreats are more effective than the same time spread out over months. There is synergy, creativity and deepened insight.

For those looking at this option, I would suggest a Christian marriage retreat as a wise investment of time and money and a good path toward a relationship breakthrough.

Avoiding Love

2009-09-09T11:45:00.005-04:00

God calls us to close intimate relationships with others. To "love" one another.

Many of us habitually and unconsciously avoid close intimate relationships and, therefore, love. I have looked at 7 ways or types of of avoiding intimacy.

This means that we will develop habits that allow us (unconsciously) to avoid close intimate relationships (love). These habits are like addictions. They only partially and artificially meet our real need.

Marriage is the institution many persons turn to for love, to meet the god-given need for close, safe, bonding with another.

Marriage is not Love. Marriage is built by people who habitually and unconsciously avoid close intimate relationships. Marriage is a legal institution but it comes without guarantee of love.

This means that marriages will systematically build in avoidance of close intimate relationship with one life partner. Bonding in marriage is weak. The marriage bond or love bond becomes strained and can break. Therefore most of us would clearly benefit from a set of sessions in bonding focused couple therapy also called emotionally focused couple therapy.

We will very often become addicted to marriage as a way of escape from real intimate relationship. Marriage provides us with some companionship (so we are not alone), safety (another lives with us) without requiring the risk of love, the vulnerability of intimacy. The result is no love bond or marriage bond.

For more about marriage addiction and our avoidance of the love bond see www.ex-harmony.com and
www.love-therapy.ca

An example:

Listening Prayer for inner and emotional healing

2009-08-24T14:27:00.004-04:00

Listening Prayer can be effective for inner and emotional healing.

I have been using listening prayer for inner and emotional healing for over 30 years now.

I started with John and Paula Sandford's work. I learned it directly from them from tapes, conferences and their books. I used their concepts for years with some success.

I learned of the value of Listening Prayer for inner and emotional healing from Leanne Payne. She told us that people responded very quickly to a listening prayer approach. I learned from her conference, tapes and books.

My articles on HealMyLife.com and Listening-prayer.com provide information about how I put listening prayer into practice in the professional Christian counseling context.

Based on the learning styles, I look for three main listening to God styles: visual, auditory and kinesthetic. I use imaginative drama for the visual and kinesthetic and dialogues with Jesus for our auditory listening.

My contribution to Listening Prayer for inner and emotional healing is to be more practical and specific about how to do it. I have acknowledged and integrated the use of imagination in prayer which is a return to what Agnes Sanford taught. I recognize that people have different listening styles.

Can you love when you are angry?

2009-05-11T23:31:00.003-04:00

Can you love when angry?
People that care want the best for the other. Is it possible to deeply want to bless and build up another and also be intensely angry with that one?
Love and hate are opposite. Anger and love are not. Anger moves us to speak up and rebuke, discipline, confront the one we love. Study my article on Anger, Hate, Forgiveness and love to sort this out. I believe that we can be angry, in a good way, with those we love.
HealMyLife.com/articles/listen to God/
Anger, Hate, Forgiveness and Love

Can you love when angry? Of course!

God never stops loving us with God love, Agape (in Greek) love, committed caring. See God Love. Yet God can discipline those He loves. God can be angry with His people but his fixed position, his very nature is God love.

Cleanse the Temple

2009-05-11T23:28:00.002-04:00

Cleanse the Temple
Jesus cleansed the temple in Jerusalem. In this life transforming prayer we ask him to cleanse our inner sanctuary of any idols. Pleasing people makes people into idols. That is just one example.
Cleansing and deliverance. Removing evil - deliverance from evil - is similar to cleansing. One could use this prayer for deliverance.
See:
HealMyLife.com/articles/innerhealing
Cleanse the Temple

Good Grief!

2009-05-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

Good Grief!
Grief is a natural God-given response to deep losses. The Bible teaches "Blessed are they that mourn." How can it be a blessing to grieve?
There is a very powerful way that grief can lead to blessing. Learn how to visualize yourself sharing and being listened to and comforted by Jesus.
This not only brings comfort it builds attachment - a love relationship forms between you and Jesus. This is especially important for those who have never experienced a secure safe emotional bond.
The article on HealMyLife.com is called Grief and comfort.

"Don't trust your feelings!"

2009-05-11T23:15:00.004-04:00

Christians are often told: "Don't trust your feelings."
That is not always helpful because our spirit and the Holy Spirit speak to us through our feelings. So don't tune out to your feelings. Listen.
Christians are aften told that anger is wrong. I wish we taught that anger has a place but hatred hurts both us and the other person. It acts like a curse.
Could I suggest that we reserve our misgivings for hate, bitterness, hostility, resentment and any feeling leading to revenge against another. Keep 'anger' free of negative judgement unless it is used sinfully.
It is said: "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath." Please interpret this to mean that anger needs to be expressed. Look at anger as energy from God to get us talking, confronting, standing up to injustice, unfairness, hurt and oppression.
Be guided by: "Be angry but sin not." Ephesians 4:26. Take this to mean that you can confront the issue without putting down the person. Sin enters in when we call names, put down or intentionally hurt another. Speak the truth in love.
For more on this see: Anger, Hate, Forgiveness and love.

Ed Young sexperiment

2009-01-20T15:20:00.000-05:00

Hi Sarah,

Sounds like Rev. Ed Young intends to challenge a long tradition of church silence on the topic of sex. He is confronting sensibilities by talking about sex in a very open, direct and loving way. He is using language that sounds controversial but is completely within the bounds of traditional Christian morality and Biblical norms.

Ethically there is no problem with a pastor suggesting that marital couples in his church have sex daily for seven days and telling the singles to eat chocolate.

Young’s scholarship is good when he says that God created sex and wants us to enjoy it. Sex has God’s stamp of approval.

The Bible offers us a Creation Story in which God sees everything as good except one thing. Man was alone without a partner. To correct this God created male and female and sex so that ‘one-flesh-unity’ could happen. Sex is good because it is not good for man to be alone.

This Creation Story says that gender and sexuality are essential to the fulfillment of the need for safe loving emotional/spiritual connection. God’s answer to lack of communion was gender, sex and one-flesh-unity.

We now know that infants cannot survive without personal handling and loving touch. Companionship is essential for life. Not just infants but all of us need to be acknowledged, responded to, touched and loved.

Young wants couples to observe their reactions to his sexperiment. They are each to keep a journal. Hopefully he really means it when he says, “It’s really not about sex itself, it’s what surrounds it.”

Do I think this challenge will work? I do not think a woman granting more sex will resolve true sexual addiction. Young may have to back track on any such suggestion. In my opinion sex addictive behaviours are attempts to fill an inner void – a need for love. Even after a week of sex that void may remain. The void often reflects emotional disassociation as the result of lack of bonding or trauma in the primary years of childhood.

Young will bring significant issues out into the open by talking openly about sex and advocating daily sex for a week. More important, in my eyes, will be the conversations about love. Men do look at other women when their needs for both sex and loving attachment are not met.

I would like to say three things:

1. More sex may not solve our need for intimate connection.

2. Sex can be done in such a way that bonding and connection are avoided.

3. Therapy may be needed the deep inner emptiness that underlies sexual addiction.

In my article on The Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce I make the observation that one can have sex and avoid heart to heart bonding. “This is done by avoidance of eye contact, stepping away from the afterglow period then a powerful opportunity to deepen the marital bond and feed and nurture one another’s spirits is missed.”

According to Dr. Sue Johnson developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, loving relationship – safe emotional connection with a partner – is our primary need. Gender and sex was God’s answer to that need. I hope Young gets beyond sex to what we might call the ‘real marriage’ – the emotional bonding.

George Hartwell M.Sc. counsellor, Mississauga, www.HealMyLife.com (416) 234-1850

Am I married? A test.

2008-04-23T20:32:00.003-04:00

A marriage ceremony and a marriage certificate does not guarantee that one is married if by married we are referring to the emotional connection that the Bible calls 'one flesh.'

If you come to me - a professional counselor - and share information that strongly suggests that you are in a marriage that is not a marriage, I might suggest the following things to do to clarify this issue.

1. Know yourself and your mission and values:
I would suggest you spend some time on your own life, your life's purpose, your life's values. Know who you are.

2. Look at, write down, all the signs, all the clues that indicate that you spouse is not married. One example is language. Do they use the language of 'we.'

3. Compare ambitions. Are you on the same page? Are you equally yoked or is one doing all the giving and the other is taking?

4. Are there major warning signs that this is not a stable healthy relationship? Is there an abusive component to the relationship? Does one partner always have to be right or in control? Does this mean it is nearly impossible to have constructive criticism, confrontation or raising of issues without getting derailed?

5. What is your vision for marriage? What is negotiable and what is nonnegotiable? Are you already being forced to compromise your core values in order to make this work? Is it unlikely that what you want in a marraige is going to happen? That you will always be doing your best to 'make it work.'

6. What is God's heart on marriage? I base my theology of marriage on John 15 and point to the spirit and truth of marriage as the secure bond, the unity and connection upon which one can build a life. My best guess is that God holds us accountable for the relationship and is not as concerned with the legalities and religious rituals. Think this through for yourself.

Learning from Christian marriage retreats

2008-04-22T17:42:00.004-04:00

I remember that this couple was really keen to get a breakthrough in their marriage. They loved each other, were real and authentic and ready to work.
It was during the summer and we had wonderful weather and a lovely time at Jack and JoAnnes retreat center.
Of course I started each session with a prayer that submitted our work to God and invited the Holy Spirit to protect and guide us. I always to that.
At this time in my career I was more relaxed than earlier. I could rest in my experience, my training and the discernment of the Holy Spirit.
I had lots of experience of God coming through whenever we called upon Him. If we were lost. If we needed insight into a memory. If we needed His truth or His comfort. He was always there.
John Sandford always prayed when he was stuck (Help!) and learned that way. I appreciate learning from John and Paula Sandford. Now I can appreciate learning from the Holy Spirit in the times when I call for "Help!"
This Christian marriage retreat began the process of showing me some of the blocks to marriages that one is likely to see. This resulted in my article on 10 marriage transforming prayer encounters .

Praying for Satan?

2008-04-16T17:51:00.002-04:00

I was asked why not pray for Satan’s salvation in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
The person thought if we prayed for Satan to humble himself and come into the understanding, ever forgiving love and grace of God, through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the God, who forgives and loves all of us, would not this prayer be helpful for all of us who battle everyday, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places, EPH 6:12.”

MY ANSWER re pray for Satan:
I understand your thought: if Satan was converted life for all of us would be better.

Several suggestions I have:
1. The conversion or removal of evil in our life is sometimes God's plan and sometimes He wants us to become strong by standing up to our enemy.
2. I suggest not focusing on Satan (leave that to Jesus and His heavenly forces), rather, focus on your immediate life here on planet earth.
3. Notice the "binding" of Satan for a 1,000 years in the end of the book of revelation - since it is in God's Word you could pray for that, and be hopeful about that. Even more hopeful is -
4. Satan may already be bound and we just don't know it.
5. No-one knows what "Satan being bound for a thousand years" would look like. We think life should be easy and peace would rule, etc. Not!
6. Satan is not our biggest enemy - if the number of Biblical admonitions is our evidence - sin and sin patterns in our life (our 'sinful nature') are the number one enemy. Sin and sinful nature are still around. These will need defeating in our own life.
6. At times we may be harassed by a human whose life is evil in the extent of the damage he does. God sometimes removes such an 'enemy agent' because of the damage being done. There may be times to bite the bullet and asked for the conversion or removal of an 'enemy agent.' This is someone in your work place, church or family, who is causing great destruction, leading many astray, deceiving many, seriously abusing many. An example might be a clergyman who seduces many women or makes moves on young boys. It could be an administrator who creates financial havoc or undermines the moral of an organization.
7. A creative prayer for 'deliverance' might be appropriate in this situation. Check with someone to make sure this is not just your own personal hurt and animosity. Is it clear to more than one that this one is doing evil? Many will come to the defense of a minister prefer to 'think no evil' and will ignore a well covered up trail of abuse and defilement of the position and authority of the holy man.
8. If yes then 'give God permission,' if it is God's will, to "convert of remove" this agent of darkness.
9. To summarize I would not focus your prayers on Satan either to bind him or convert him. Leave dealing with satan to God. As for you, love God, do good and by that you will be undermining the work of the devil.

Unveiling the Bride

2008-03-06T23:13:00.000-05:00

Terry Somerville understands.

He knows where the annointing is and that it is a love annointing.
He knows that any "revival" will be Jesus building His church not 'the church we see today.'

In his latest newsletter - I commend him fully - says that you and I are the Bride of Christ but there is a problem - the Bride is separated from the groom by a veil of her own making. :-( sad.
See:

Total Change Ministries @ inJesus.com

The institution that calls iself the church - but is not - talks about being saved by grace but in reality we have "veiled ourself in religious obligation in our life with God."
(Imagine a romantic relationship where love is the talk but actions and decisions are always based on rules and obligation.)

Terry says that: " God is revealing His love, unveiling His bride, and taking us with Him into His Kingdom. Hallelujah!"

Terry notes that today human success seems to be the standard by which everything Christian is measured. Wealth, fame, influence, size of congregations, and many other things have become standards of Christian living. Without realizing it, the bride of Christ has turned to please the eyes of men, and all of us have worked to accomplish it. But the unveiled bride will only have eyes for Him! See Being a People Pleaser (and losing out on love) - my experience.

From my experience I know that being nice, being a good boy, avoiding conflict, and trying to please people is a roadmap to disaster in a close relationship. My first marriage - when I was heavy into my People pleaser persona - was a disaster.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
(Colossians 3:1)

Join me in longing for the brokeness and humility of heart that receives God's love. Ah, here is the flow of the Spirit - when my heart is broken open; when my emotions (heart) is near the surface; when tears flow easily.

Be free, Bride, of trying to be a 'good wife.' Be free to be yourself. Dance in the Joy of the Bridegrooms (unconditional) love. He delights in you - the authentic you.

That is authentic salvation, wholeness, holiness. Not my trying to be good. (No man is good.) Being myself - authentic and real - so that I can love and be loved. Then building one another up in love and Christ growing in us, the kingdom of God will manifest around us.

Glory!

Christian therapeutic retreat

2008-03-04T15:26:00.004-05:00

The prime purpose of a Christian therapeutic retreat is to target, with God's help, the most significant problem areas. Then through a healing encounter with God achieve emotional healing and life transformation.

Personal Christian retreats allow individuals to identify, understand and get healing for fundamental issues - issues rooted in early childhood. This is not to blame parents but to understand one's history and the beliefs and feelings rooted in one's history.

An experienced Christian Therapist is skilled a pattern recognition. At a Christian therapy retreat expert pattern recognition saves time and allows issues to be identified quickly. So more gets done in less time. Sessions are interesting and relevant.

With God's help a Christian therapeutic retreat can be a a time of discovery of new patterns and new methods of bringing inner and emotional healing to individuals.

I bring a variety of modalities of therpeutic perspectives to an emotional healing retreat. I have read extensively and received training from masters in Reality Therapy, Transactional Analysis, and Psychodrama. These different approaches provide perpectives that are sometimes helpful.

During Christian Retreats for Depression I make use of the insights of John and Paula Sandford regarding the Human Spirit. Depression can be modelled as interference in the flow of life into the human spirit.

During a retreat I aim to bring about healing encounters with God especially so old patterns of personality can die and one's new identity in Christ be recognized and strengthened.

Warning - Nervous Breakdown Ahead

2008-01-17T17:16:00.001-05:00

Nervous breakdown is also called emotional breakdown or mental breakdown. To ordinary people that means a time of great stress when you have a lot of identity confusion. I believe many times that this marks a time of transition in a person's life not necessarily a time when the 'world is ending.'

A nervous breakdown is not a time to lost hope or give up. The positive perspective is that you are in a time of transformation from one personality pattern to another healthier personality pattern. It is a 'Positive Breakdown.'

Do you make the mistake of taking on the troubles of the world, too serious, not enough freedom and fun. You might be in the Super responsible (Parental Inversion) life style pattern.

If you have read my article on Nervous Breakdown you would know that such patterns do not last forever. They are imbalanced and we tip over. We squelch our inner child and end up in depresssion.

When something goes wrong, do you think or say: "It's my fault." If so I think you might live with the belief that there is something wrong with you.

Boundaries might be a problem. You do not know where your responsibility ends. You do too much. Add a little self pity. Whine and bitch and you have the family Martyr life style.

One reason this might result in a nervous breakdown is because you meet the needs of others but ignore your own needs.

Study my 'positive disintegration' view of the nervous breakdown. Then you will know that a new better life and higher integration may emerge from a nervous breakdown.

How to feel adequate

2008-01-16T18:40:00.000-05:00

If you are not confident in yourself you will feel it. Others will feel it as well.

Some people will not feel adequate or competent because the lose the identity by focusing on pleasing others. This is classical People Pleaser or Performance Orientation.

Another type - the ones I call Super Responsible - (Parental Inversion by Sandfords) may also feel indequate. The reason, almost invariably, is the internal Judge that goes along with Super-responsible.

The Super responsible person may think everything that goes wrong is "My Fault." Associated with that quick 'my fault' is beliefs that 'something is wrong with me,' 'I'm bad,' 'I deserve to be punished' and 'I don't deserve good things.'

When something goes wrong with his performance, his achievement, his competative edge, or he is criticized, the People Pleaser goes into an immediate funk, depression, (or anger) state with beliefs like "I am no good," "I am unloveable," "nobody can love me" and "I am bad." This pattern is described more in The Program and the Pit.

One answer to feeling inadequate is The are adequacy is not of ourselves, says Paul(2 Corinthians 3:4), but our adequacy is of Christ. This helps one to stop focusing on self. That helps.

To some extent we decide how we see ourselves. We make choices to be and feel adequate. People then respond to our confidence. It starts with us.

Twelve ways to Strengthen your Marriage Bond

2008-01-15T22:21:00.000-05:00

Twelve ways to Strengthen your Marriage Bond

There are many ways that a person can allow and encourage the personal connection, the bonding, and the love connection that God intends for the marriage relationship. God puts us together by providing these mechanisms. We tear marriage apart by avoiding these mechanisms. Avoid most of them most of the time and you may well succeed in putting asunder what God has intended to be together.

Make eye contact. Make eye contact when love-making.
Allowing togetherness - the afterglow - the calming down together - which occurs naturally after love making.
In conversation, allowing topics that are personal.
In conversation, allowing some problem solving, some confronting of the things that produce negative feelings.
Allow positive confrontation without abuse or name calling.
In conversation, responding to or acknowledging the other.

More about strenthening your marriage bond on www.HealMyLife.com

Listening Prayer Therapy and Leanne Payne

2008-01-11T19:57:00.001-05:00

Listening Prayer Therapy and Leanne Payne
Leanne Payne: Teaches inner healing through the presence of God; has written The Healing Presence and Listening Prayer.
Leanne Payne teaches the importance of listening prayer and practicing the presence of God.
She supplied the insights, the theological foundations and encouragement to use listening prayer for inner and emotional healing. By doing this, she laid the framework for professional Listening Prayer Therapy.
I consider Leanne Payne to one of my mentors(See www.HealMyLife.com?counsellor). And a significant contributor to the Second Generation of Inner Healing.
Leanne Payne provided a foundation to Life Transformation through Listening Prayer and through practicing the Presence of Christ.
Leanne Payne, of Pastoral Care Ministries, learned to practice the presence of God as the way toward healing. She says: "I was learning to see the invisible with the eyes of my heart, to hear the inaudible with the ears of my hears. In other words, I had come to rely on God's Healing Presence with His people." (The Healing Presence, page xv)
To follow her is to develop deep confidence in God's faithfulness to speak to us when we ask Him to and we listen.

My web site on Listening prayer is under construction. At the moment there are articles on:
Faith of the heart prayers, Head vs Heart Faith in faith of the heart prayer, How to do Healing Prayer, How to break a curse, What is listening prayer?, how to do listening prayer, How to pray for protection, prayer with the human spirit, types of prayer - intercessory prayer, What is prayer?, What is the power of prayer? How to do healing Prayer, Healing prayer for cancer.

Chrisitian Inner Healing

2008-01-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

Inner Healing is a set of principles and procedures that can be used by qualified Christian professionals to bring inner and emotional healing to individuals through a healing encounter with God. Problems in marriage can also be resolved in depth by Chrisitan Inner Healing that transforms unhealthy personality patterns - patterns that block closeness in marriage and lead to hurt and withdrawal.
Chrisitian Inner Healing Prayer Therapy has been effectively applied to many significant life issues because it uses a healing encounter with God to bring positive change to unhealthy personality patterns. With the tools of Life Transformation Therapy a professional can provide significant support to the treatment of:
trauma abuse,
addictive behaviors,
eating disorders,
alcohol addiction,
sexual addictions,
drug addictions.
problems in marriage.
I consider the first generation of inner healing to be the innovators such as Agnes Sanford. Early on and just after committing my life to Christ I was given a key book by Agnes Sanford that outlined principles of effective prayer for healing.
After her death those that learned from the pioneers in Inner Healing continued to develope this new field. Teachers and writers such as Leanne Payne, John Sandford and Paula Sandford are the ones I am most familiar with.
I consider myself part of a third generation of writers and teachers who are taking the field of Christian inner healing into the next phase of development.

Premarital counselling - what I do.

2008-01-11T16:04:00.000-05:00

Premarital counselling helps you understand and evaluate your relationship. In premarital counselling you can also learn to solve problems in your relationship.

Couples consider conflicts are a negative sign. But think about it, won't two healthy passionate individuals with personal goals have conflicts. This is part of being two differnt people.

Better to focus on how conflicts, hurts, issues impact your closeness. My Premarital counselling will focus on those issues that are impacting trust, love and healthy bonding.

Many couples come to premarital counselling to be sure they are in a healthy relationship. I will evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship.

I believe that every marriage will have difficult issues to deal with. Unresolved root issues from childhood will surface. They can bring down a marriage. Premarital counselling helps you become comfortable working together with a therapist so these can be dealt with when they arise later.

Spiritual Direction - what is it?

2008-01-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

On www.HealMyLife.com is the following service:

Spiritual Direction. You might choose to focus on the spiritual direction aspect of Life Transformation. In spiritual direction there is an increased focus on one's relationship with God.

The same insights and tools that are useful in core belief therapy are also effective when we turn to dealing with your issues with God.
Really, in my experience, the process of Life Transformation can and will enhance one's relationship with God. In spiritual direction we are able to deepen, enhance and consolidate this.

Long distance: 1 877 854-3990; in Mississauga, Oakville, Etobicoke, Toronto: (416) 234-1850.

My understanding is that Spiritual Direction is a therapeutic relationship whose focus in one's relationship with God. The person, the being we call God, is assumed to be an active partner in everyone's life. Spiritual direction focusses on that relationship.

Parenting Breakthrough by Dr. Nelson

2008-01-08T22:02:00.000-05:00

Dr. Nelson writes "The one Minute Scolding" - a breakthrough in parenting.

This book is good because it outlines a revolution in successful parenting. Dr. Nelson really thought this through and solved the problem.

What is the problem he solved? How to discipline effectively while strengthening the bond of child to parent.

Any method of isolation for discipline is a form of distancing. Dr. Nelson wanted a form of discipline that brough parent and child closer.

Too many parenting courses expect parenting to be done in an unemotional manner. Dr. Nelson effectively incorporates the parent's emotion, in fact, uses emotion to make discipline more effective.

Emotional discipline can result in a negative self-image in the child. Dr. Nelson is very clear as to how to avoid this.

I nominate Dr. Nelson for the Nobel Peace Prize in the science of parenting.

Silent Divorce - a Biblical reflection

2008-01-08T11:25:00.000-05:00

Silent divorce is about a marriage where the partners still live together but have separate lives. It is married people living like singles.

Silent divorce may mean that the marriage partners almost never talk.
Silent divorce might mean that the sexual relationship has ended, but that is only part of it.

To understand marriage and to understand silent divorce, I want us to consider what is the fundamental spiritual truth that is key to God's heart for marriage.

What is the spirit and truth about marriage and silent divorce? Marriage counsellors now see that bonding, attachment, secure loving connection is key to understanding couple relationships. See Susan Johnson and Emotionally Focussed Therapy.

The Bible also values our bonding (clinging to) God and the bonding (one flesh) between man and woman.

How important is bonding to our relationship with God? I believe the Bible reveals that it is vital, in fact essential, to our souls, to eternal life. After all eternal life is defined in terms of an intimate relationship - as knowing God the Father and His Son, Jesus the Messiah (John 17:2 ).

The parallel truth is that bonding vital and essential to the truth and spirit of marriage.

Jesus makes clear, in John 15:2 that branches that bear no fruit are cut off by the Father. Such branches fail to remain united with God - the True Vine. "No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine." Jesus says "Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me."

The parallel truth is that the fruit God wants from marriage flows from bonding between husband and wife. God's Spirit and kingdom can flow from the vital oneness of man and woman.

John 15 says that branches that do not remain in the vine die and are cut off. What about a marriage where the vital connection is dead and the energy is all negative - a silent divorce.

In the case of silent divorce would a wise and loving God not want an end to a marriage that is dead - where bonding is broken?

If the life and health of the marriage partners is God's primary concern - not the 'holiness of marriage' - then (if the marriage is dead and children are not involved) I think God would want and end to pretense, to silent divorce so that life and love can flow.

More about silent divorce and bonding on www.HealMyLife.com: see Silent divorce and Bonding, marriage and silent divorce.

Anger management courses

2008-01-08T10:18:00.000-05:00

Anger management courses are the new religion. There is a ritual required to appease the higher powers - police and courts.

Anger management courses provide intellectual exercises to deal with an emotional problem. Unfortunately, the emotional control centers of the brain override the cognitive centers in times of stress.

Anger management courses also require confession. On a regular basis, one must admit to one’s charges without protest. This confession of guilt helps provide absolution by the ‘higher powers.’

Anger management courses do not deal with some of the foundational issues underlying rage, violence and loss of control.

For men especially there is a need for a sense of personal empowerment. One needs to feel powerful rather than weak and vulnerable. Any request or confrontation by the woman may trigger painful feelings of being weak, vulnerable and without power.

This may manifest in a marriage in grabbing for the power – to be “King of the Castle.” This is one of the blocks to marriage bonding that I describe on www.HealMyLife.com.

True authority, an anger management course instructor might say, flows from a peaceful, calm sense of confidence. “Men, be the steady captain of the ship in a storm.”

Self-talk that is positive could help. Even if your partner is out of control emotionally, you can remain steady.

Self control is a sign of inner confidence. An Anger management course might give a person the self-talk script to remain confident in an emotional storm.

Idolatry of the Mind

2008-01-07T22:52:00.000-05:00

On www.HealMyLife.com I describe idolatry of the mind and name it the "Autonomous Mind." I see this as a block to marriage.

Bonding in marriage, the close and secure connection upon which a marriage is built, is faced with a block to marriage, if the emotions are blocked. The person with an Autonomous Mind squelches emotions. Example, English 'stiff upper lip.'

So the "Autonomous Mind" syndrome is a block to bonding in marriage. Whatever blocks bonding in marriage will lead to the downfall of the marriage.

One of two things will happen. As bonding is blocked, or as the vital connection comes untethered, the marriage will end up in a divorce or an unrecognized state of marriage death called "silent divorce." See article on bonding, marriage and silent divorce.

If a woman is married to a man who operates as an "Autonomous Mind." She may become angry and frustrated with his constant intellectual and rational approach to life. She might long form a man that is more personal, warm and intimate instead of a silent divorce.

She may prod him to be emotional be getting him angry. She may wither into loneliness and depression. She may leave him, or get involved in an affair, searching for love, life and a secure relationship where her heart can safely trust in her man (Proverbs 31).

If in legal divorce we are recognizing a silent divorce, how would Jesus look at that?

Remember that Jesus looked at the motive of the heart and the true emotional and spiritual reality. Is silent divorce a time when He would say: "Marriage is made for man, not man for marriage?"

God is holy and can judge whether a marriage is sustained by a life-giving connection or not. God's will is for a life-giving connection to Him (John 15 - the Vine and the Branches) and for couples to live out and experience a life-giving and life-enhancing love relationship.

We are overly focussed on 'Holy Matrimony;' need to be more focussed on our Holy God.

Christian marriage retreat

2008-01-04T16:01:00.000-05:00

A Christian marriage retreat is used my couples for a variety of reasons:

Finding it too slow attending one hour weekly appointments - getting discouraged.
Have been separated and want to invest a lot in making it work or finding out that it will not work.
Couples in distress may be in a similar predicament: "We don't know if this will work. We can't stand a slow set of weekly appointments. There is too much pain. Lets invest intensely in a retreat and make it or break it."
Some couples want to stay together but have not been able to break out of a marriage block. One individual may have shut down sexually and they want an expert at core issues to explore and bring healing to the core issues.

Frankly, I benefit from Christian marriage retreats too!

I benefit because:

In a retreat I almost always can go into a depth not possible in individual sessions.
The creative atmosphere and focus on one couple for several days usually means that new insights develop.
As well as insights, new methods or tools may be forged in working with one couple that can be used with other couples.
I am passionate about helping people and it is a great joy and encouragement to see a couple benefit from a Christian marriage retreat.

The results can be conveyed to some extent by the testimonies on HealMyLife.com.

Listening Prayer Therapy vs cognitive therapy

2005-03-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

LPT – Develop your own approach
This is an invitation. Develop you own approach to Listening Prayer Therapy. Try out the tools that I have used and make them your own. You then have ‘Your Approach.”

LPT – and Cognitive Therapy
My gift is to penetrate theory and understand the essence, the key, and the nugget. What is key to the effectiveness of Cognitive Therapy? It is the focus on belief.

The theory, which I support fully, is that belief drives behaviour. But there is more. Core belief defines identity (self esteem issues.) Beliefs are expressed in feelings and a belief lies behind each of our negative feelings. Beliefs shape our perspective – our perceptual glasses – our seeing. Thus beliefs are self-perpetuating – we see what confirms our belief. Finally by the power of expectations, life happens to confirm our beliefs.

My understanding, then, is that the Cognitive Therapist makes a wise and strategic choice to focus counselling on belief systems that underlie behaviour.

Third Generation Inner Healing shares this focus on belief. In the healing of a memory we deal with the belief - what seemed true at the time of the event. If you do not focus on the beliefs when doing healing of a memory then you do not ‘get’ Listening Prayer Therapy.

The way that LPT (Listening Prayer Therapy) deals with beliefs is with revelation rather than cognition. A cognitive approach may take months or several years to break down a belief. Cognitive Therapy – the best that Psychology has to offer at the moment – takes persistence and much professional time (and expense) to be effective. But it is effective.

When Listening Prayer Therapy uses revelation to deal with beliefs is it looks like this. “Jesus this is what I believe but I want your perspective. What is your truth?” If one truly listens – rather than think up the right answer – then one can receive the Rhema, the active, living spoken ‘word of God’ that is effective in shattering wrong belief and giving one God’s perspective. It happens ‘in an instant.’

People think going to therapy is tough.
The inner forces that keep us from therapy are strong. We think therapy is tough. That is because:
1. Humility is involved. Pride blocks us.
2. We are dealing with self-condemnation. Fear of judgment blocks us.
3. We don’t know where to start. Feelings of inadequacy and helplessness block us.
4. We are putting ourselves in the hands of another. Trust is an issue.
5. There are costs: financial, time, energy. Our ‘Poverty Complex’ blocks us.
6. I am investing in myself so my lack of self-esteem hinders me.
7. On top of this all our patterns of rationalization, denial, and avoidance, game playing and self-sabotage stand in our way.

I think life without therapy is tough!
So it looks to us, feels to us like getting into therapy is tough. But I know what is worse and that is what happens when I don’t get into therapy. Life can get really tough when God plays hardball. “Hard ball?” That is when we reap the emotional, social, spiritual and financial consequences of our failure to step up to the plate and get our stuff dealt with. That is messy!

The Journey - Brandon Bays

2004-12-06T21:42:00.000-05:00

Brandon Bays calls her book "The Journey," her therapeutic method - The Journey, and her web site is: www.thejourney.com.

My introduction to 'the Journey' came July 2004 with a meaningful session provided by David Liberto following Brandon Bays protocol.

In September, Helen Liberto sent me Brandon Bays book, The Journey, and both Adele and I enjoyed reading the fascinating encouraging account of one woman overcoming a large tumour by finding the emotional root of it and deflating its' power. Within six weeks medical tests indicated that her organs were in perfect shape.

My interest and knowledge about 'The Journey' has been growing. I contacted and had a session with a local to Toronto, Journey practitioner. I attended a Journey intensive weekend held in Toronto in November.

I am now finding myself able to integrate some of Brandon Bays' methods into Listening Prayer Therapy sessions. This has been rewarding for some of my clients who have benefited from this new method of inner healing.

Of course my use of 'The Journey' is set within a Biblical theological context. In practice, this means that sessions are initiated with some spoken prayer asking for God's presence and guidance.

There are two important reasons that I make use of 'The Journey:' 1. It gives my client more options. For example, a client may be able to experience feelings well and may not have as much success with direct "listening to God" or the use of imagination in therapy, and 2. The Journey is unique in how effective it is in transforming personality styles or character pattern that needs transforming. To learn about different personality styles check out www.enneagraminstitute.com. It is worth it to take the self test.

'The Journey' involves allowing oneself to fully experience one's feelings. For some clients this is great. However, one of my clients absolutely refused to experience his feelings. "Different strokes for different folks!" - an expression that means people respond to different things.

I would help a client identify a pattern that needed transforming. That may get expressed in a form of a general confession and request for change type of prayer, out loud by the client. This is followed by a proclamation in prayer, out loud, that Jesus is Lord, Saviour, Healer and Deliverer and, therefore, in charge of this process. Check out my articles on www.healmylife.com.

Brandon Bays always sets up an imaginary campfire to talk things out. Good idea. I do it if it is clearly needed but not always.

Brandon Bays lets a person chose a mentor to be with them at the campfire. We usually assume form the start that Jesus is the mentor unless the person prefers another person of the Trinity because of a problem with Jesus.

At the campfire Brandon assumes that healing comes because you expressed your feelings (got it all out) and because you forgive. In contrast, I believe healing comes because wrong beliefs are corrected and we have got God's TRUTH and perspective. Once that occurs our attitude usually will become that of forgiveness from our (healed) heart. I do not push for a decision (will choosing) for forgiveness without clear evidence of heart healing first.

In order to discover the truth - and destroy the wrong beliefs lodged in our memories - we need to hear the truth whether it comes from our mentor, from understanding from the other at the campfire or from gaining empathy for their perspective. In Listening Prayer Therapy I may have the person ask Jesus at the campfire to correct a particular belief by putting a clear question to Him.

In the Emotional Journey, Brandon Bays, or the Journey therapist, allows you to fully experience your feelings as they emerge. You are to be present to your feelings without denying, suppressing, judging or analyzing them. As we release our grip, let go of our control, and experience our feelings they are able to come and go fairly quickly.

Soon we come to our stuck point: we feel blank, "I don't know," fear of dying, panic about who we will be if we allow this feeling or state to be present. This is the 'death gate' - the valley of the dying to the old identity - the birth canal to the new identity. If we are present to this without blocking ourselves to the experience then the new can emerge. We then begin to experience the center of our being where the Holy Spirit lives.

We begin to emerge into life, light, love, peace, freedom, wholeness, beauty - what Brandon calls SOURCE. Only here do we experience God. Only here do we experience our true selves. Only here does the New Creature, our new identity start to take form. Once we get to this point the transformation of our life has begun - the old has passed away and the new has come.

Brandon uses this experience of Source - God's truth and presence - to speak to and cleanse each of the other feelings that we experienced in our journey to Source. Then she has a campfire with relevant people in our life. Then she projects our new identity forward and has us imagine what it would be like a day, a week and a month from now.

What emerges is a new identity.

What I have described is the most powerful process for identity transformation that I have seen. I recommend you try it and learn to use it with others.

Shalom, George <><

Spiritual Intention

2004-11-25T22:43:00.000-05:00

There is a spiritual intention that makes things happen and it seems that I have that intention regarding the Heal My Life Community and the spread of Listening Prayer Therapy. Things are happening alright and have been since I said that I want to train 100 people in Listening Prayer therapy.
For example, I made the decision to visit Ohio recently for a weekend conference on "Peak Oil and Community Solutions." Just about ready to pull out the driveway and begin the big 8 hour drive when the office phone rings. The one you will get to if you phone (416) 234-1850 or 1 877 854-3990 in Canada or United States.
A lady calls from seeing the web site and had some questions for me. It turns out that her TheoPhostic work got stuck or unfruitful and she had found me. That weekend she and her husband drove three hours to where I was and we spent 8 hours that were productive for first her and then her husband. (That paid for the conference!)
This week a lady from Bermuda is confirming a retreat of four days here in Ontario. She will fly here to get some things dealt with. Each person that comes for intensive work like this I am saying to bring a tape recorder in case they turn out to be potential therapists for others.
My hope is that over the next year the work of all of us in the Heal My Life community will bear fruit in the production of clear teaching material to explain Listening Prayer Therapy to others. This will take work on each of our parts. Your comments or questions to me, the group or the web log will help this process.
The hard but necessary work for each of us is producing the transcripts of the sessions. Do one piece at a time and let me know that you have done some.
Why not make a spiritual intention for your life.
Blessings to all,
George <>

When we are out to pasture - eating grass.

2004-09-30T17:46:00.000-04:00

The Ten Commandments make it clear that God is intolerant of idols.

I have observed that God humbles us in order to deal with idolatry in our life. Some might call it pride, a Self-Image or an identity. It is just that there are times when we have too much investment in our self-image or identity and God says, in effect, "enough is enough."

Bad things happen when God says; "enough." Everything that can go wrong does go wrong.

The rubble of one's life might include problems with job and finances, alienation from one's spouse and possible other relationships. The reality or the sense you have is that you have been put out to pasture - eating grass, overlooked, put on the back shelf, etc. You may feel very alone.

Your thoughts and feelings during this time might include hurt and resentment about lack of recognition or insult or criticism in a life area that you felt was your strength. This is a clue as to the ego's Self-Image over-involvement.

If you are a person of strong faith you may be spending a lot of time in prayer and some of that time may be in tears. You are sincerely seeking God. You can be described as broken, contrite or humble.

In counselling a person in this time of life I would introduce them to the above thoughts and suggest that we can speed up this process with targeted prayer. I would explain that our Self-Image can become an idol. God may be in the business of smashing idols in our life. We can come up with a prayer of confession and a picture of submitting the idol = Self-Image to God. Some suggestions for this can be found on www.HealMyLife.com under articles.

In the Bible it is King Neb (Nebuchadnezzar) who was put out to pasture by God when he wanted everyone to bow down to his image and worship him. He spent 7 years EATING GRASS.

Once we emerge from this process successfully - with the idolatry confessed and cleansed out - then we can be returned to position and be reconciled to loved ones. They will discover that we are less arrogant, prideful and critical of others. We have gained in humility and compassion.

In leadership we may find that we are less focused on recognition for ourselves and honestly invest in others that they may be promoted and do well and receive recognition. This new attitude means that we can be trusted as leaders; God can anoint us for leadership. So will raise up others under us. Graham Cooke calls this the 'Corporate anointing.'

Yes we can learn from God .

2004-09-23T10:05:00.000-04:00

Paul, an apostle (not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father who raised Him from the dead), and all the brethren who are with me, To the churches of Galatia. Grace to you, and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ. ... So begins Paul's letter to the Celtic churches in Galatia.

Later in this letter (1:14) Paul says "that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught but through the revelation of Jesus Christ." What a strange, unusual and extraordinary claim. Paul claimed that his teaching bypassed men. That he was no man's disciple in the Way but that He was taught by Christ directly.

If any man made any such claim today we would be suspicious, scandalized and question what drug, delusion or power trip they were on. Psychiatrists would wonder about Schizophrenia. Churches would expel him and most Christians would keep their distance.

For centuries now the church has believed that God does not speak directly to man, that prophecy is dead, that the gifts of the Spirit are no longer necessary with the advent of the Bible. In early centuries the Christians who insisted on lively gifts of the Spirit were expelled from the orthodox church as heretics. Until the Pentecostal and then Charismatic movements of the last 100 years is has stood as orthodoxy that one did not hear directly from God one read the Bible for revelation.

Paul's claim that all his teaching came by revelation from the Risen Christ is extraordinary even for charismatics and Pentecostals. It is an extreme claim that stretched my faith - and I have a gift of faith! But now, Paul's experience does not seem so strange and distant.

The reason is, that as a counselor, facilitator, therapist using Listening Prayer Therapy I have been there when people have met with the Risen Christ and been touched by Him in the hearts, spirits, inner Child and traumatic memories. My faith has been building. Paul's claims seem less and less incredulous.

Soon, I am going to start sounding like Paul. Soon I will have to admit that some of the methods that I teach came direct from the prayer encounters of clients with the Risen Christ.

Listening Prayer Therapy is growing. Now problems bring forth new solutions and they are coming fresh from revelation from Jesus the Risen Christ. Paul's claim now seems plausible because more and more Listening Prayer Therapy is rooted in such experience.

I have met the Risen Christ! He is risen, indeed, and an ongoing source of life, healing, deliverance and insight. Praise be to the Risen Christ. Amen to Paul's experience.

George <>< http://www.healmylife.com/

Severe emotional problems & the human spirit - part 2

2004-09-04T09:31:00.000-04:00

I have said that severe emotional problems often have at their base a problem with the core of our emotional life - the human spirit. My understanding of the human spirit provides me with important insight in to problems that baffle many individuals and their pastors:

Why some people have problems attaining to Christian maturity;
Why some habits and sin problems are so hard to break;
Why some people do not maintain deliverance from darkness.

Some further characteristics of one whose human spirit has not grown to maturity:

Inability to foresee the consequences of behaviour in the future and thereby make wise decisions or avoid sin;
Weakened ability to draw upon the good experiences of life to help one over the bad times - the good of the past seems to be forgotten;
Inability to receive love or register a sense of being loved or to remember being loved so that one lives with emptiness from love or the belief that they have not been loved;
Difficulty in benefiting from insight type counselling - understanding does not help change or control behaviour. It seems that it impossible to think our way in to goodness or love.
Difficulty in learning from the past (mistakes, bad decisions, punishments and scoldings) so as to correct one's behaviour. Given that one's mind and intelligence are intact if not superior, it seems that love and goodness involve more than learning from the past. Good thinking is not enough to produce good moral character.
Conscience or value decisions are not based on empathy with how others feel or how one's actions will effect them. Conscience (value decisions), instead, are based on laws and rules of what is right and what is wrong - life is black or white.
We are talking about lack of strength, life and maturity in the Human spirit resulting in emotional immaturity. Without an adult human spirit we handle situations with the emotional intelligence and strength of a child. At the core we are still in a child state.
One meaning of this is that we are not emotionally ready for adult intimacy and sexuality. We will approach intimacy and sexuality with the emotional capacities of a child. We may, in fact, feel more comfortable in relationships with children than adults because they match our emotional maturity and play interests.

Descriptions of the state of the inner core will make use of pictures and language. When counselling someone I prefer to discover the language and pictures that their heart and mind uses to describe their inner state.

John and Paula Sandford use the picture language of sleep - the slumbering spirit - or of imprisonment - the captive spirit.

The Bible uses similar language to describe a person's spiritual or emotional state. Biblical imagery speaks in terms of life - a tree planted by water - of being in a pit or prison - and also calls for us to wake up referring to sleep.

Prison: Luke 4:18 "He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives,"
Blindness: Luke 4:18 "recovery of sight to the blind,"
Pits and prisons: Isaiah 42: 22 "But this is a people plundered and looted, all of them trapped in pits or hidden away in prisons."
Pits: See the following Psalms: 88:1-8,15,18; 28:1; 30:2,3; 40:1-3; all of 142 and 143. In particular notice the complete description of Psalm 142 and 143 and the mention of "my spirit."
Psalm 143 uses the language of "my spirit being overwhelmed and fainting within me" - verse 4; my soul thirsting after Yahweh like a thirsty land - verse 6; as well as the imagery of going down into the pit.

In general the root cause or causes of human spirit being trapped, hidden away, fainting within, etc. so that one does not attain emotional maturity go back to very early life.

Events prenatal, at birth or in the early years may be involved - usually something that blocked normal boding between mother and child.
Severe trauma that brings about dissociation may be involved at various stages of childhood. In such a case there may be a distinct difference when working with memories before as compared with after this event. The child a later stages may find it hard to get in touch with his or her feelings.
It is also possible that the family did not provide affection, love and personal acknowledgement to the child and encouraged a phony self - the 'pretty girl' or 'nice boy.' When such dynamics are strong enough one's spirit can fall asleep and one can get quite out of touch with the real inner person.

Jesus can deal with such depth issues but it helps if you understand what it happening so that you can guide the healing process. I would like you to learn to discern "core issues." Contact me by way of the comments if you are the team of by phone if you are not (in Canada or USA: 1 877 854-3990 or 416 234-1850.) Ask questions as you try to understand and apply this.

Severe emotional problems & the human spirit - part 1

2004-09-03T11:16:00.000-04:00

Severe emotional problems - What are they? What does this mean? What does healing of severe emotional problems look like?

When one speaks of "severe emotional problems" to me I become attentive. Are we talking about "Core Issues" - my code word for deep trouble with the growth, maturity and functioning of the human spirit? I now need to look for this.

As I make further enquiry around the issue of severe emotional problems I look for evidence that the functions of the human spirit are blocked, indications of related problems and reasonable causes in the life story.

Many severe emotional problems build on, or stem from, core issues involving the human spirit. The human spirit, our unique individual human spirit, is the core of the person we are. My spirit flows through my body to give energy to my conscious mind, will and emotions. My unique human spirit is the core of who I am - my identity, and the core of my personality. My spirit is the core of the I - the inner "I."

My spirit is the core of my mind - the"spirit of my mind", to quote scripture. My spirit is the core of action flowing through my body in feats beyond my self. My spirit is the core of intuition and creativity. My spirit is an essential part of human to human communication including what we call empathy.

My spirit is essential to human to God communication and is source of how God speaks to us (to our spirit and then registering in our consciousness). My spirit effects the operation of faith - the Pygmalion effect in Psychology. My spirit effects others who will respond to me based on the core identity, beliefs and expectations in my spirit. My spirit even releases or binds others into healthy or unhealthy patterns because in truth we are al spirit beings and our spirits are networked forming powerful systems that hold people into healthy or unhealthy patterns. Finally, hate and love are a flow of the spirit. Without a functioning spirit I am not able to give and receive love.

When the human spirit is blocked a person may sense problems in the above functions and report this in their own words. This is what others or the person will observe:

They may feel that "something is missing" in their life.
They may feel cut off from others as if a glass wall was in between them and others.
They may have a lot of thoughts and feelings related to not feeling loved.
They may try hard to please and do it right in order to feel loved.
They may become depressed easily with little energy to move ahead in life.
They may have had thoughts of suicide.
They may feel cut off from God.
Their social and emotional intelligence is low which impacts their relationships.
Relationships break down.
They feel like an little child within an adult body.
Their emotional reactions seem like that of a little child. In other words, at times they act emotionally immature.
In their life in Christ they will also find it difficult to mature.
They may find responsibility a difficult thing.
They prefer life to be run by rules in which it is clear what is the expected behaviour in every situation.

I have more to say on understanding core issues. For more about the human spirit read Watchman Knee "Releasing the Human Spirit," John and Paula Sandford, "Healing the Wounded Spirit" especially their chapters on "Functions of the Human Spirit", "The Slumbering Spirit" and "the Captive Spirit."

Therapy (healing) of Severe Emotional Problems when it is related to such "core issues" is going to take more time and care then normal healing (therapy). I plan to slow down, listen more carefully and look for ways to bring healing to these core issues.

The Heal My Life Community - my Vision

2004-08-24T11:26:00.000-04:00

This is about my vision of the Heal My Life Community whose mission is to be touched by and to touch others with Heal My Life experiences with God.

Community is Jesus' idea. He challenged men to follow him; and they did. They went where he went: saw what he did and learned to do what he did. They were there when ministry happened. Thus they gained first hand experience of his ministry.

Then Jesus challenged his disciples to do what he did. He sent out his 12 to proclaim the same message and do the same works that he did. As they did this they gained hands on experience of his ministry. But now, his ministry became their ministry.

The Heal My Life Community is a network of those who share their experiences with Life Transformation Therapy with others in the community of those learning.

How have they been touched by my ministry - "the HealMyLife experience" or "Listening Prayer Therapy?" Initially they benefiting personally from sessions with me or by accompanying someone who benefited from sessions with me. However, in the second generation, they will have been touched by sessions with you or accompanying someone who benefited from sessions with you.

How do you have sessions with George?
At the moment, there are several ways to have sessions with George. By phone is one way. In person sessions are another way.

Where does this happen? People fly to Toronto ands stay here for a series of sessions. They may come to a retreat center near Toronto where I devote several days exclusively to them. They may have volunteered for a demonstration at a "HealMyLife Seminar" in Toronto. Or, I may have gone to their location for a series of private sessions.

In the future, I may go to locations where small HealMyLife Communities are forming to do some private sessions and training. There may come a time when members of the HealMyLife community will enjoy a week at a summer camp together - a week which will include sharing and practicing of skills.

Willing to Share
I have asked potential members to record (make audio tapes, for example) their sessions with me; to type then out (transcribe on a computer) and then forward them to me by e-mail. After appropriate cuts and edits and with agreement of those concerned, these will be posted where they are private and available only to other members of the Heal My Life community. This will be done on a nonpublished web site with security passwords for the community.

This exercise is a work of love. You benefit others who are learning and increase your own learning. When you have finished you will have not only experienced the session and gained the benefits from that but you will have listened to it in a more detached frame of mind when you can think about it. By typing you have experienced it through movement - kinaesthetic learning. When it is done you can read it for visual learning.

The value to the learning community is that your transcript provides raw data - first hand experience - that is a different type of learning than reading about the process. Just a Jesus disciples experienced his ministry first hand, I want the Heal My Life Community to read and experience that first hand way what Listening Prayer Therapy feels like.

Just as Jesus invited his disciples to have first hand experience when he said, "Follow me," in the Heal My Life Community we gain first hand experience of Listening Prayer Therapy by experiencing it.

Just as Jesus authorized his disciples to go and heal the people and so gain hands-on experience in the same way that he did, the Heal My Life Community is authorized to use what has touched you to touch others and so gain hands-on experience.

As you put others in touch with the healing presence of God leading them into a "Heal My Life experience" you can ask them to record and transcribe their experience. Then they can learn deeper how they were healed and be better equipped to touch others. As they lead others into this experience they have come close to joining the Heal My Life Community.

This reminds me of Jesus saying: "You are close to the Kingdom of God."

Blessings community.

Knocking at Heaven's Door

2004-07-30T10:41:00.000-04:00

In the last few months people in Listening Prayer Therapy sessions have had divinely granted visions of heaven or of a waiting place on the way to heaven. I am being drawn in to a sense of the nearness of heaven if we would open our imagination to divine inspiration and the presence of Jesus. These experiences are beyond what I imagined when I developed the "Peace with Heaven" prayer format.

A young man in a vision of heaven say the throne and said: "They rule with their heart and not with their minds." A nice confirmation of my comments of July 27th blog entry: 'Mission to Listen.'

One comment he heard was: "God does not tell you what to do or make you do anything (you are free ) as long as it is done from the heart with purity and out of a caring intention."

This young man described the joy that those in heaven have in helping others. There was great joy there. All held in common love and worship of Jesus. We take pleasure in serving Him. There were different groups singing gospel songs. Relationships were like spider webs of kindness to others that brought joy to themselves.

One interesting comment was that what you experience on earth is multiplied times 1,000 in heaven. That what you experience on earth depends on you perceptions and your perceptions are up to you. You choose to see things bad or good.

We choose whether we will enter the kingdom of heaven by our choices to live with empathy for others and to follow the Lords' rules. His rules give freedom.

In the last year I did a lot of work with a woman in crisis who was filled with panic, pessimism and depression. I believe that she was in a God-ordained life crisis to deal with pride, self-centeredness, control and people-pleasing. Session after session I confronted her pessimism - her tendency to see a situation as negative when it could as well be seen as positive - session after session.

Perhaps this was not necessary. Perhaps there is a prayer encounter that could deal with a person's pessimistic outlook.

CHALLENGE: Design such a prayer - an encounter with God that allows a person to submit their pessimistic perceptions and allows Jesus to replace them with His optimistic perceptions. Can you picture that? Let me know your ideas.

PS: On this blog permission to comment is by invitation only. Those who comment constitute a community - the HealMyLife community. This is a community of individuals who have been chosen and who chose to learn and apply Listening Prayer Therapy. Learning is experiential - sessions with me or close observation of such sessions. If you have good reason to learn and apply this method, would be willing to experience it yourself, and would like to be part of this community phone (416) 234-1850, 1 877 854-3990, or E-mail me.

Come to my web site: healmylife.com and there is an e-mail link there.

May you enter the Kingdom of Heaven, George <><

A Mission to Listen

2004-07-27T18:16:00.000-04:00

Listening Prayer Therapy happens spontaneously at the heart level. However, it is blocked by too much analysis at the head level.

For listening to be successful the 'noise' in our heads must stop. Our doubts, questions and stream of thinking must be stilled.

Although our head does not need to turn off during listening, it must go into an observer mode. The prophet Habakkuk after talking out plainly to God - Chapter One - says, 2:1 - "I will watch to see what he will say within me."

After the resurrection of Jesus he appeared to two on the road to Emmaus who returned to Jerusalem that very night in the dark. They were told by the 11 apostles that "the Lord really is risen, and has appeared to Simon!" When they gave their report confirming this, Jesus Himself joined them. But they were startled and in fear. Jesus rebuked them in words that we need to speak to our heads: "Why are you disturbed and troubled, and why do such doubts and questionings arise in your hearts?"

Like the apostles our heads can get in the way of receiving into our midst the risen Christ. For example, my head full of theology may be busy doing theological thinking rather than listening to Jesus. My head head can be busy, like Martha, in the theological kitchen brewing up a theological discourse rather than sitting still, like Mary, at Jesus feet - listening to Jesus.
let your mind observe - see, hear and sense - what is happening, in this way you stay open and ready to encounter the risen Christ in your spirit.

One example of this in Listening Prayer Therapy is in Christian grief counselling. Take a look at the article on "grief and comfort" on www.HealMyLife.com.

The one command from the father heart of God to the disciples was: "Listen to my son, Jesus." At the mount of transfiguration God the Father spoke to the disciples: "This is my beloved son, listen to him." Can you agree to this command, this order from heaven? Can you honour your heavenly Father by listening to Jesus?

Such simple words. What a brief missions statement. The Father heart of God says to my heart: "Listen to my son, Jesus." My instructions are to listen to Jesus. And my response? "Yes, Lord."

However, according to the intellectual MIND VERSION of the Bible, God the Father said: "This is my beloved Son. I would be honoured if you built a monument to Him on this mount, and many buildings to honour and talk about Jesus, and large theological colleges filled with big theological books teaching about my son, and if you held religious services in the name of my son where you sang to him and preached about him and you were very careful to come up with fresh thoughts about him and theologically accurate thoughts about about him and blah, blah, blah."

NOT!

Peter was not encouraged to build a monument on the mount. God is not honoured in all our sophisticated intellectual talk about Jesus. Our God and our Father asks us to talk with Jesus. He wants us to listen to Jesus.

"This is my beloved Son. LISTEN TO HIM."

This is the mission of Listening Prayer Therapy.

George <><

The Listening Attitude

2004-07-24T22:54:00.000-04:00

Humility means I can learn. I have an open mind and heart.

Broken means my tears are close to the surface. My hard shell has been broken.

No longer attached to my agenda, I am dead to the power trip.

I can listen to you because I am not invested in how I look to you. I am not invested in my "Self Image." I am dead to 'image control.'

I am patient because I have given up my demands. Love does not control.

I can listen with heart and feelings because I don't have to get it right with my head. I have given up controlling through understanding. I don't seek more intellectual knowledge because I know that isn't how we see into the things of the spirit.

Creativity, spontaneity, passion, enthusiasm, fun, stories and imagination - these are loved by a child with good self esteem. Unless we turn and open up to the child within us we cannot see into the Kingdom of God. Life is not generated by being deadly serious!

The more Heaven's peace permeates my soul, the more I am able to be patient and wait for you to find heaven's peace for your soul. Wait upon the Lord. Enjoy the waiting station.

These attitudes make Listening Prayer Therapy fruitful.

George <><

Inner Healing Worship

2004-07-15T12:34:00.000-04:00

Man's ultimate purpose, destiny and pleasure is to be in God's presence, in the throne room and to worship God. Our inner man, core person, our human spirit experiences this ultimate high by inner worship. My greatest reward as a guide in the process of inner healing is to be there when the inner person (inner child or spirit) of another experiences this breakthrough into inner worship in the presence of God.
I have recently had this experience: at a recent HealMyLife Seminar Tor-fre (name withheld for confidentiality reasons) experienced this ultimate life shaking and life shaping experience.
Also, in working with Swi-Syl (name withheld) her inner child - it was the six year old - was lead in a healing vision the ended up with a beautiful throne room experience. She was touched on the shoulder with a sword by Jesus on the throne - compare to being made a knight. He declared that her guilt was forgiven - compare to Isaiah 6. She found herself laying on the ground in front of the throne and touching Jesus feet. If you know Hebrew you will recognize the posture of worship.
Nothing can bring greater satisfaction to the heart of God and peace to the heart of man than to worship in gratitude for who God is and what He has done, except, perhaps, to guide the heart, spirit and inner child of another into the throne room experience.
To pursue this meditate and try the Prayer Format described on HealMyLife.com called peace with heaven.
May you seek and find real peace,
peace with and communion with God,
George <>

Introduction to the HealMyLife Blog

2004-07-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

"Heal My Life" is a web log about Listening Prayer Therapy - the tools that I am developing for inner healing - listening to God for life transformation.

What is life transformation? Just as butterflies go through that miraculous change from caterpillars to graceful flying creatures we need to break free from old character patterns, unhealthy habits and addictions.

The tools of Listening Prayer Therapy enable a Christian therapist to facilitate the experience life transformation.

In this blog you will follow the development of my thinking regarding Listening Prayer Therapy. Last week I posted on my web site HealMyLife.com a rough draft of every article or method that I have published in some form over the last four years. There are 46 articles there. I need to edit how they appear there. This is where I am in the process.
You may just want to observe the process and listen in so that you will become familiar with me and this approach to inner healing. Listening in is allowed.
You may want to learn the method - the attitude, principles and skills involved in Listening Prayer Therapy. You are welcome to do so. Also read the articles on www.HealMyLife.com.
Real learning happens when we experience. You may choose to adapt the tools here for your own use, using your own judgment as to how they apply to yourself or others and taking full responsibility for the consequences. This is a good way to learn.
If you may want to teach others what you learn about Listening Prayer Therapy. I would say go ahead, however, but do not claim any authority to do so without participating in the processes that I have set up to familiarize people with my formulation of Listening Prayer Therapy. Before you lay claim to teaching my methods it is best that you consult with me and let me know what you are doing. I would like some assurance that you really do have the right spirit, follow my principles and know how to use my methods before you claim to teach others. So please contact me about that. Thanks,
Blessings, George Hartwell <>