Sunday, July 24, 2011

Couple Therapy Mississauga

From my office in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, I provide couple therapy with a key focus on bonding.

A focus on bonding in couple therapy is supported by the research by John Bowlby and the many others that have taken his original work further.  John Bowlby had the courage of his convictions to ground therapy issues of children in the relationships in the family.  This stance was unpopular among Freudian analysts at the time.  Everything, they believed was in the child's fantasy life.  Bolby was able to show that any lengthy abandonment of a child in the early years had significant impact on later character and personality.

Bowlby fought to establish that the bonding between mother and child on a continuous basis was an absolute essential to a child's mental health. Professionals resisted the implications of this assertion even when it was backed by research and observations from several independent researchers.

It is now being asserted that the bonding of a couple is absolutely essential for the health of the marriage and the couple.  This realization is new.  Few couple therapists assert it.  I take it as proven and build my couple therapy work in Mississauga on this foundation.

Most couples are happy with the focus on their bonding and attachment.  Intuitively they know that this is the right focus for them.

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Marriage counsellor MIssissauga

Marriage counsellor Mississauga or Marriage counsellor Oakville or Marriage counsellor Toronto are search terms that find my web site HealMyLife.com - A christian counselling web site.

Christians and those without a strong faith stance or another faith stance might turn to a Christian marriage counsellor because it is known that we esteem marriage and do not quickly and easily encourage separation and divorce.  That is true.  Secular counselors often are much too very quick to suggest pulling the plug on a marriage.

The tools and skills involved in marriage counselling are needed whether one is Christian or of another faith stance or secular.  It is not often that I get to use the skills of life transforming prayer therapy in the midst of  marital therapy at my office in Mississauga..  Those types of interventions are vest provided within the context of individual therapy and used for individual root issues.

My focus as a  marriage counsellor is to use focus on emotional bonding, the marital connection of the couple.  This requires both marriage counsellor and both members of the couple to practice emotional listening skills.  This is demonstrated with verbal and nonverbal acknowledgement of the feelings of one's partner.

We can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to helps us in this but real humility is needed to set aside one's own position and to listen to and acknowledge the other.  It is hard work to change habits of asserting or defending one's own position.  God can help us but we are the one's that need to humble ourselves and listen to our partner with love.

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Marriage counsellor MIssissauga

Marriage counsellor Mississauga or Marriage counsellor Oakville or Marriage counsellor Toronto are search terms that find my web site HealMyLife.com - A christian counselling web site.

Christians and those without a strong faith stance or another faith stance might turn to a Christian marriage counsellor because it is known that we esteem marriage and do not quickly and easily encourage separation and divorce.  That is true.  Secular counselors often are much too very quick to suggest pulling the plug on a marriage.

The tools and skills involved in marriage counselling are needed whether one is Christian or of another faith stance or secular.  It is not often that I get to use the skills of life transforming prayer therapy in the midst of  marital therapy at my office in Mississauga..  Those types of interventions are vest provided within the context of individual therapy and used for individual root issues.

My focus as a  marriage counsellor is to use focus on emotional bonding, the marital connection of the couple.  This requires both marriage counsellor and both members of the couple to practice emotional listening skills.  This is demonstrated with verbal and nonverbal acknowledgement of the feelings of one's partner.

We can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to helps us in this but real humility is needed to set aside one's own position and to listen to and acknowledge the other.  It is hard work to change habits of asserting or defending one's own position.  God can help us but we are the one's that need to humble ourselves and listen to our partner with love.

Christian marriage Counselling

My approach to Christian marriage counselling is to provide:

  1. Enough time so each partner has time to express themselves and be acknowledged both by me and their partner.
  2. enough time to provide some insight and do some work around some issue,
  3. and to leave the session with some resolution or direction regarding that issue.
Enough time means that I provide 90 minute Christian marriage counselling sessions.

For more intense work I provide up to six hours per day of Christian marriage retreat or Christian marriage retreats.  These are provided for one couple at a time so that a couple can do an intensive marriage therapy retreat.  These Christian marriage retreats can be for two, three or up to five days.

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Marital Therapy by a Christian Counsellor

Being a Christian counsellor and providing marital therapy in Mississauga Ontario, Canada is a joy to me and a blessing to those couples who maintain regular appointments.
Christian couples come to my office in Mississauga from Oakville, Etobicoke, Brampton and Toronto.  Couples search for marital therapy Oakville, or marital therapy GTA, for example, or Christian marital therapy.  What do Christian couples expect from a therapist?
Quite simply people expect:

  1. to be respected as people and
  2. treated fairly.
  3. To be listened to with a wise and objective position, that is
  4. Not taking sides and
  5. Not pushing your own agenda.
This means that the first question that I ask a couple asking for Marital therapy is what is their goals.  The only way I can not impose my own agenda it by asking for a listening to their agenda.
I need to be careful not to takes sides.  I take a fairly objective stance.  I do not let my subjective biases take over.  Each partner needs to be respected and handled even evenhandedly. 

Yes, I am a Christian marital therapist but one would hope that the above guidelines be respected by Christian, Catholic, secular or Jewish counselling services.

Of course I do not impose my faith position on any couple.  I do not even pray with them to start without their explicit permission.  It is all about respect.